passion::part two.

"lay me down, i'm not my own. i belong to YOU alone."

passion day two.
it held so much promise and the lord fulfilled the promise of his presence. we started out the morning with our family groups and im so glad. i soaked up every second that i got to sit in a circle with those friends. because we got to sit there and be real with each other and really process what the lord was doing in us. during the morning session my girl beth moore spoke. she brought the word in a powerful way. im serious when i say the lord was slapping me left and right with realizations. one came in the form of beths message. we read out of luke 8 about the woman in the crowd that had been bleeding for twelve years. thats really pretty gross if you think about it. and i know if that was me i sure wouldnt be out in the crowd. i would be sitting in my room throwing myself a pity party. but instead she goes out into the large crowd of people seeking jesus. seeking his touch. i wonder how long it took her to work up the courage to do that. beth made a point that some of our areas of need are so personal and so private that we dont want anyone to know about it. i think im like that sometimes. i feel so unclean that i would rather just keep to myself. or i am afraid my uncleanliness will mess up jesus. and i think sometimes i even trick myself into thinking if i hide from it wont effect me. THATS NOT TRUE. as long as i feel unclean jesus cant do what he wants to do in me because i am not drawing near to him. and jesus calls us to draw near to him with a heart of full assurance. and thats what the bleeding woman does. she finds jesus in the crowd and she simply touches him from behind. and IMMEDIATELY she is healed. i have so many questions. like i wonder if she thought she would even find jesus. or i wonder if she thought if she did find him would he heal her? i wonder if she approached him with a heart of full assurance. she had to. because i would imagine back then that bleeding was a form of unclean that you didnt even speak of. like if you were so unclean that you were literally bleeding for twelve years that no one wanted to talk to you about it. and so i think surely for her to go out into the crowds and seek out jesus she HAD to have a heart of full assurance. and she drew near to him. and he healed her! i remember this verse from my freshman year of high school when we started campaigners with my younglife leader and she made us journals that had that verse written on the front. and that was our prayer for when we met together or even just when we met alone with jesus. that we would come with a heart of full assurance. so i know this verse and i have read this story of an unclean woman who is healed by the touch of jesus because she knows she is unclean and so she comes to jesus. and so i have to ask myself why do i doubt that jesus can heal me when i feel unclean? why cant i just cry out to him that i feel unclean. especially knowing that unless i do, he cant do in me what he wants to. i want him to say to me like he said to the bleeding woman "daughter, your faith has made you well, go in peace." and the most beautiful thing about is that if i will simply stand at the foot of the cross and let him clean me he WILL. i could never be unclean enough to mess up jesus. that is a beautiful truth. and so at passion i was able to call out to the lord that i was unclean..clean me lord. heal me. and he did. i came with a heart of full assurance. and he sure did. thank you jesus for your promise of healing, and that you love me even when i am unclean.
that night francis chan spoke and talked a lot about the word of god. he told us a story about one time he was speaking somewhere and a guy came up to him after and said "hey why do you always just read scripture and just say do it" we all laughed but then i realized the story is kinda funny because come on its francis chan...who critiques him. but its really that simple. read scripture then do what it says. i personally like to take things literally and try to dissect them when its really just as simple as "well in the bible the lord says to do this so do this" my family group and i all agreed that when we read scripture we think hmm i wonder what the lord really means by this. but i dont think he gave us this word so we have to translate it and figure it out. i think he laid it right in front of us so we can do what it says. like go and make disciples. ok, go and make disciples.  or caring for the poor. ok, go and care for the poor. so then i have to ask myself do i take the word of god literally? then we kind of explored what it looks like to be deeply rooted in the word and really know it. there is so much truth there and outside of the word there are so many lies and so many people lying to us. so if we are not deeply rooted in the word we arent going to know who is lying to us. and if we dont know the word then we wont know what christ was like and what he calls us to be like. another little point that francis made that really got to me was how excited i get when i have a surprise for someone or have something planned for someone or a gift and i am SO excited for them to see it and know what i have in store for them. so i wonder how excited jesus must be for me to know and see what he has in store for my life. i think that is such a cool picture. in family group we talked about our relationship with jesus and how we spend time with him. whether we grow better spending alone time with jesus or with a group. i think i grow in both and need both. because i need the alone time with jesus but i also need small group or a community setting where i can process what the lord is teaching me with other people. to get other perspectives. i shared with my family group about a book we just finished in my small group. its called my heart christs home and it goes through the "rooms" of your heart and how jesus meets you there. my favorite (but the most convicting) was the living room. it talks about how we promised to spend time with jesus each day like in the morning. and it paints this picture that in the morning jesus is sitting in the living room in the rocking chair at the bottom of the stairs so eager to spend time with me and instead i come racing by saying oh sorry jesus something came up i will spend time with you later. that is seriously convicting. i HAVE to spend time with him and in his word in order to grow in him! that night i walked away really asking myself what needs to change in my life to fall more in love with him?


seriously. it was another incredible day. i am so thankful for the opportunity to go to passion because the lord wrecked me there. he really taught me so much.

some more of my favorite songs.
"we'll be that city on a hill burning brightly. we'll be a light to the world shining your glory."


"i will follow you. the cross before me. the world behind me"


some pictures of day two.

 more to come. so much more.