they are not mine.

i say it all the time...my young life girls. its easy to say & its the most self explanatory way to describe them. my high school friends...that sounds like my friends from when i was in high school. the girls i hang out with at hva...takes too much breath. so naturally, i call them my young life girls. but i have been convicted....they are not mine. they are not mine at all. they are His. His children. His beloved. His precious daughters. Him...the creator of the universe and still He calls them His. i love those girls with a love i have never known and i am so thankful that i get to walk through life with them. its easy to get caught up in our relationship because i invest so much into it. time, money, emotions. and i wouldnt trade that for anything. but i have to remember that they are not mine. they are not mine to claim and they are not mine to save. i struggle a lot with wondering if i do enough. if im present enough, if i ask questions enough, if i talk about Jesus enough. anytime i hear of a high schooler that has died i immediately crawl into that slippery hole. what if it was one of the girls i love so dearly? did they get the message and did they hear the truth? that the Lord of the earth loves them and calls them by name and wants them to follow him forever? that there is life after death and it is beautiful? i dont know and i may never know. but i do know this...i cant save them. it is not in my power and no matter what i do it never will be. Jesus can save them. only him. he has called me to love those girls and pursue them and be his hands and feet. he promises to equip me and i follow his lead. i am present and i love them but i cannot save them. my roommate and i talked about this the other night and we were both weeping talking about what precious souls those girls are. they are sweet and innocent but so lost. and we so desperately want them to know they are found. sometimes i wonder how the lord saw fit to bless me with those precious souls. where did he see that i was deserving enough to be blessed with them? and how did he see that i was equipped for this? but i rest in knowing he promises to equip me. and im thankful because i cant imagine my life without them. not my girls. his. there is scripture in 1 john that says "they went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. for if they had belonged to us they would have remained with us" sometimes its easier to just say my girls but im grateful they are not mine. because as much as i love them and want these friendships to continue through life i dont want them to remain with me...i want them to remain with HIM. i am so thankful for these sweet souls that are His and that i get to momentarily do life with. and from the deepest places of my heart i pray they know they are not mine but His.