in the arms of Love.

a look of defeat.

2012-02-19T10:22:00.001-08:00

thursday night some of my yl team & i watched as our high school friends lost their basketball game against their rival school. and for the senior boys that we know & love it was their last high school basketball game. it was the playoffs...so going in they had no idea whether they would play again. after a tough loss to their rival team, they hung their heads. and the looks on their faces were ones that tore into my heart. because the hurt was so apparent on their faces. it was a look of defeat. what do you say to them? good game. were proud of you. which we are. but they lost and so they dont really want to hear that. and it was sad for our high school friends that are senior cheerleaders. because it was their last high school game to cheer at. or maybe last game to cheer at period. and for the kids in the student section. for the seniors it was their last time with their chants that they yell at every game. the last time for the guy that wears the gorilla suit and the guy that wears the banana suit. it was sad for me because they were in their element. and they were being kids and they were having fun. and they had hopes of going on in the playoffs. but then they lost. and there was that look of defeat. but thats why we are there. thats why we are looking sketchy as college students standing in the student section. or sitting next to the student section cheering them on and repeating after the cheerleaders. maybe even crying at the sound of the last buzzer...or maybe that was only me. were there to have fun with him and support them. but really were there because we want them to know that the scoreboard doesnt matter. sure its a sucky feeling to lose. but we dont care. we love them anyways. and we are proud of them. and we still want so desperately to be their friend. but really thats not it either. were there because we want them to know that the scoreboard doesnt matter. sure its a sucky feeling but the God of the universe loves them more than they will ever know. and he is SO proud of them. and he wants so so desperately to be their friend. and as sad as i was to see their loss, it makes me a little excited. because thats more thursdays that they can come to club and hear the gospel because they dont have a game. and thats more days after school they can hang out with their leader because they dont have practice. and that look of defeat..that hurt from their high school basketball or cheerleading life coming to a close..a think that may stir up some conversation. and thats something beautiful.
i didnt like seeing that look. but i was glad i saw it because that meant we were there. we were present. we were seen. and thats what its about. were building those friendships with the hope that one day we get to tell them that the lord knew you were going to try to slam dunk and completely miss, but he loves you anyway. and the lord knew one guy was going to pass to the other and he would let it slip from his hands, but he loves him anyway. and the lord knew that this thursday was the last time you would cheer, but he something SO much bigger in store for you. last night was my first time seeing my high school friends hurt. and that hurt me. first at the game. and then when i got home one of my girls texted me with something going on in her life. something hard. and she wanted to talk. and my heart was so full because she wanted to talk but it hurt because of what she was telling me. but now i get to spend the afternoon with her on monday while we pick this apart and peel back the layers and talk through it. im hurting for her. but im excited to talk to her. it was a sad night. but the lord has called us into the lives of those kids. and im thankful. so it was a good night too.

plus it was about a 30 minute drive to the game and only seven leaders went. two came late but the rest of us rode together. and the car ride. it was good. on the way their we had conversation & questions. and then we had dinner together. then after the game....the car ride back. there was ice cream, loud singing. bewitched, macy gray, miley cyrus & needtobreathe. dancing. and laughter. SO much laughter.

and because im obsessed with both instagram & the collage app...

i really need to get this off my chest.

2012-02-15T20:15:00.000-08:00

im not sure if my mom still reads my blog...i dont think so because she never says anything about it anymore. at first i hoped she didnt so she wouldnt read this but now i hope so because if she does read this thats ok because i really need to say all of this to her im just afraid to. mostly because anytime i have an important conversation with her i cry. its just what i do. then she gets mad and says im not talking to you like this. or now is not the time. so it just never really works out. anyways...this is been on the front burner of my mind for a long time. and it is consuming me and consuming my thoughts and becoming a burden.

i need to move out. i really need to move out.

most important thing about this. i have such great love for my family. i eat up quality time with them. i want to spend time with them. we have lots of fun and we laugh so much together. i mean i really really love my family. and gosh...i am SO thankful for them. i am thankful to have a family that has raised me with the beliefs and values they have. and taught me respect. respect for myself and for others. and im thankful that they support me. in what i do and financially. im thankful for the life they have provided and the education they have allowed me to have. and are willing to pay for me to go to the school i want to go.

but living at home is hard. its really hard. and its becoming a heavy weight on me and i am so fearful that it will affect my relationship with my family in a bad way.

and i want so bad to live with friends. and friends that will be intentional and that we can sit down together and share meals and laugh and share life and struggles daily. especially friends that do ministry in young life because we can share that together. and encourage each other. and talk about our ministries and ask each other questions and pray for each other. and i have talked to a few friends about possibly living with them and i get so excited at the thought. and i just really really desire that in my life and i think it would be so good for me. and to just be surrounded by friends and be able to hang out. i need that. bad.

the problem isnt wanting to/not wanting to move out. its no secret...i want to move out. its money. its expensive. i cant afford it on my own. i work but more importantly i go to school full time and that keeps me busy because there are discussions to post, quizzes to study for, papers to write, exams to study for. and im a young life leader. and that takes up SO much time. and im not complaining. i LOVE every second i spend on young life. i am so thankful i get to. but its just not as easy as working enough to pay rent & utilities & food & gas. thats just not possible right now. so thats the problem. money is the problem. and that is the most frustrating part about it.

i hope this doesnt sound whiney and bratty and like im complaining and ungrateful. moving out is just something i need in my life. i think it would be so so good for me. and i think its part of life & growing up & college. living on your own and being independent & being an adult. and its a part of life i SO desire to experience now.

in the middle of my little mess.

2012-02-07T21:11:00.000-08:00

honestly i have just been a hot mess this past week or so. my heart has been in a real place of hurt and i have thrown myself quite the pity party. i have cried a handful of tears. i have been really angry with jesus. i have said what the hell a whole lot. and i have wasted a pretty penny in gas by going for drives just to think and listen to music. mostly have i questioned jesus a lot. not questioned him like who he is or anything. just questioned him like why this or that. and of course because i am a girl i have done the whole 'seriously jesus. i can take care of it myself.' all i have to say to that is hahahahha. wrong. and then jesus stepped in. and i am so glad. actually i think he has been trying to step in the whole time i just havent really been letting him. and i have been reminded that in the middle of my little mess i forget how BIG im blessed. yep i have felt hurt here lately but my world hasnt been flipped upside down. shit happens...thats just part of it. i never love it at the time, but when shit does happen the lord eventually uses it to teach me something. and so im praying that the lord will strip me of this hurt and teach me something. were getting there & i have to trust that. and honestly it has sucked and i have felt myself growing weary but i loved in jesus calling today when it said 'dont be ashamed of your exhaustion.' i may not love the place i am in but THIS is where christ has intended me to be. he has me here and he WANTS me here. i have to believe he wants to teach me something here. even if that is simply to trust him and love him more. and he promises that if i would see this as an opportunity to let him take charge, he will make all things work together for my good. [romans 8:29. and we know that for those who love god all things work together for good.] thats if i trust him. really trust him. and that is a hard thing for me to do. because i am a planner and i am impatient but time and time again christ reminds me that my way and my time are no good. his are. they are SO good. and he promises to make them so good if i will just let him. and in the meantime while he is preparing the way he calls me to come to him and just rest. and he tells us to take HEART, because he has overcome the world. and if he has overcome the world, then surely he can overcome my little mess. and if i would just trust him, i can overcome my little mess. why why why do i continue to doubt that?! because when i really think about it...it is a little mess. sure it hasnt felt good, but i compare it to how big i am blessed and goodness...my heart is so thankful. because even in the midst of this little mess i have a community of friends that loves me and encourages me. and i have spent so much time with friends these past couple weekends and i have laughed more than the average person and thats my favorite thing and every time i leave my time with my friends my heart is so full. and there have been friends that have encouraged me and showed me christ through their words. and young life has started and already it is so good and im thankful for that. and im thankful to be back with my team. and we had leadership this past friday which was great. and the lord is growing my ministry at hva and i get the privilege of starting campaigners with my young life girls this weekend and i am so thankful for that. and the weather has been so beautiful and im thankful for that too. so even in the middle of my little mess jesus is doing GOOD things. as for this place of hurt i am in...i have to believe that in time he will make even this work together for my good.

im really thankful that jesus reminds me of his promises. even when ignore them or try to handle things myself and even when i have flat out told him i am angry. he loves me anyway. and he promises that if i love him, he will work everything out for good. even my little mess.

and after writing this i looked back at the top where i said "im praying the lord will strip me of this hurt & teach me something." and then i finished writing and realized....i may not be done hurting...but he HAS taught me something.

clear eyes. full hearts. cant lose.

2012-01-29T16:17:00.000-08:00

meredith verbally slapped me today because i havent blogged in a long time. and im glad she did because i like to go back read old posts and when i dont do it for a long time and skip a lot of stuff i get ticked at myself. so thanks meredith. and im glad we got to go to lunch together today after church and kinda have a date even though there were like 8 other people there. sharing french fries with you was the cherry on top of a great weekend. also i would like to live with you and your roomies next year. ill bake you lots of sweet treats.

life lately...it has had its ups and it has had its downs. this weekend was definitely an up. probably the best weekend i have had in a LONG time. or ever. it started thursday night with younglife team dinner & meeting. thats always a highlight of my week. i have a deep love for the people i get to do ministry with so having dinner with them every week and catching up on each others ministries and praying with each other is a real treat. friday i got to sleep in until 11:30. that alone would have made for a great weekend. friday night we had a surprise party for hannahs half birthday. yep. half birthday. why not? i love surprises and i love surprise parties. she literally had NO idea and we were all in her living room when she thought she would be funny & kick her door open. her face was priceless. that was a real fun night full of laughing, quoting bridesmaids & dancing. i thankful for a community of friends that really loves celebrating each other. it was a really late night so saturday i got to sleep until 12:30. oopsies. saturday was taylors birthday so back downtown i went to celebrate. a big group of us had dinner at calhouns on the river & i had the best time. then we all went back to taylors apartment to hang out. more laughing and more dancing. i didnt hate it. that was an even later night. but i managed to get up this morning & make it church. and i am SO glad i did. i needed it. we read in ephesians and talked about the blessings of forgiveness. five important things i heard today.

1. godly shame is a gift.

2. ungodly shame & living in it keeps us from really experiencing forgiveness.

3. i do not have to pay for my own sin. his blood is enough.

4. his grace is limitless

5. with his forgiveness comes wisdom

i am really really glad i was there this morning. and i am thankful for what i heard. and i am thankful for a community of friends where we all go to church together and sit together and worship together. i like that a lot. and i really like when we all get to go to lunch together after. we did that today and it was a whole lot of fun. and it has been a really really beautiful day.

other things that have happened.

+ i was introduced to & fell in love with friday night lights. it is literally THE best show i have ever watched. and it has become an unhealthy obsession. i have watched 3.5 seasons in about 3 weeks. i love friday night lights. i love dillon, tx. i love tim riggins. and i love netflix. clear eyes. full hearts. cant lose.

+ monday i picked up my younglife girls from school and took them to panera. i have really missed hanging out with them. i talked to them about campaigners thinking their responses would be like this: a few would really want to, one would shrug her shoulders, a couple would be indifferent, and one would say if she is going i will go. wrong. they all jumped all over it. and asked when we can start. what?!? i am SO excited!

+ at passion when i said jesus intersected in the form of a text message....yes. one of my favorite families in the world texted me while i was at passion to tell me they are moving back here to start a new church this spring/summer and have asked me to be a part of it!! they said they have thought of me since they first began thinking of doing this. i am SO excited to be a part of this. i have a lot to say about that. i will say it later. but for now...i am really excited!

+ younglife starts back this week & i am SO happy. i have missed it a whole lot.

+ this actually happened a few months ago...but oh well. i changed my major again. not going to be a teacher. starting next year i will go to liberty university but i am staying in knoxville and doing their online program and i am majoring in christian counseling. i couldnt be more excited about it. what i will do with that im not 100% sure. i cant decide if i want to counsel in a school setting, church setting or what. but i get to take different classes for specific types of counseling so im really looking forward to that. i also see the potential of going on young life staff at some point. but thats not really a job you can plan years ahead for it is definitely something the lord will either call you to or not. but i think if the lord ever calls me to do that then a counseling background will be great.

+ abby got married & i think it was the sweetest wedding i have ever been to. also the most fun. we danced the night away.

+ last week we started small group back. my heart is so happy.

+ i have plans for spring break and its going to be incredible. 24 of us got a house in florida. and i have a different spring break than them so i am skipping that week of school. so i get two spring breaks. but really...24 of my favorite people. sharing a house. on the beach. ok, YES.

taylors birthday

oh hannah. we have both seen bridesmaids at least 12 times. thats why we are friends

the half birthday girl

beautiful bride

this would be austin pretending to be a mannequin.

i think thats about it. this has taken me a solid two hours to write. due to things like: lifetime movies, law & order svu, pinterest & a new j.crew catalog.

passion::part four.

2012-01-17T18:09:00.000-08:00

here i go. wrapping up passion...finally.
day four started with one last time in our family group. that was kinda sad for me because i really enjoyed my time with my group & getting to know them and share our hearts. it was a sweet time on reflecting on what all the lord had done in us during our time there. our community group read through the passion 268 declaration. its something the passion team put together that is a reflection of our desire to follow jesus and for his name & renown. i like what it says...
i desire to be a part of a generation that lives for the glory of your name. my desire is reflected in the following statements and prayers:
"yes, lord, walking in the way of your truth, we wait eagerly for you, for your NAME and RENOWN are the desire of our souls." (isasiah 26:8)
+ love for the local expression of the his church. [because christ established the church for gods glory, i will invest the gifts he has given me in the life and mission of my local church]
(we talked about how you cant say you love god if you dont love the church. i needed to hear that)
+ unity among believers that amplifies his name. [because gods fame is amplified when believers love each other, i will strive for unity among all christians on my campus.]
+a passion to know god above all things. [ because i was created by god and for his glory, i desire to make knowing and enjoying god the passionate pursuit of my life.]
+ a desire to see christ celebrated where i live. [because many around me are separated from god, i will share the story of jesus where i live.]
+ willingness to share the gospel to all people. [because god is seeking worshippers of all people, i will spread his fame among the nations, fully participating in his global purposes and engaging poverty and injustice in jesus' name.]
our last session was some incredible worship and we got to hear from louie giglio again. his message was a wake up call that my purpose in life is to proclaim the name of jesus and i am called to do that to the best of my ability no matter what that looks like in my life. and i am to do it with boldly and fearlessly. being bold isnt about being loud. its about how confident i am in the gospel. i had to ask myself if its my prayer that god would put words in my mouth that i would fearlessly make known. because that is what he calls me to do! i dont know why i am afraid because i am chained to the unchainable jesus. i have to proclaim his name. boldly and fearlessly. because jesus fearlessly hung on the cross and fearlessly proclaimed the mystery of the gospel. his will for my life is that wherever i am right now that i would open my mouth and fearlessly proclaim his name. that is my purpose & that purpose began the day i came alive in christ. whatever christ reveals to me to do with my life i must do it in the name of jesus. whether that is missions overseas or my younglife ministry or my future career. christ wants me to do it in a manner that glorifies him. and i cant let my brokenness keep me from that. my favorite thing that louie said that day was dont let the enemy tell you that your brokenness is going to disqualify you from spreading the news of jesus. because out of brokenness, fearlessness.

jesus broke me and restored me at passion. and i left feeling more ready than ever to carry the name of jesus. i am so thankful for the opportunity to go to passion again. and i am already ready for next year.

the last few pictures.

passion::part three.

2012-01-13T20:19:00.000-08:00

"im not ashamed of the one saved my soul."

passion day three.
with an early wake up call & achey feet we walked several blocks from our hotel to community group. no other way id rather begin the day. we talked about our purpose. that we were created for one. god didnt just save me from something. he saved me FOR something. we are HIS masterpiece created in christ to do good works. and the best part is he created these good works in advance. my life has purpose & meaning and its as simple as following him & seeking what that is.
the morning sessions consisted of some incredible worship music. like all of them. i think worship music is where i connect with jesus the most. which is funny because i cant sing to save my life. but thats ok. instead of one person coming out and bringing the message louie giglio, beth moore, francis chan, john piper, and my best friend lecrae read scripture and it was really neat because first we all stood because louie made a point that the message is still worship so why do we stand to sing and sit for the message. so we all stood while they read scripture and every little bit we would pause and simply pray for the lord to speak to us through his word. and he did. and it was a really cool time.
for the afternoon session we got to hear from four people who are involved in organizations that are standing up against human trafficking and slavery. and it was the neatest thing to listen to them. they are SO passionate about what they do because they know it is something the lord has called them to. my heart beats for that so i really really loved that session.
literally i had to prepare myself for the night session. john piper. that man is a DEEP well of wisdom and i look so forward to hearing from him. but it takes listening to him there, reading and rereading his notes multiple times after & listening to him again when i get that session from my passion all access pass to fully process everything he said. which i love because i continue to learn & grow from it. he talked a lot about how jesus intends for my life to bring him glory. i exist for that reason. to put gods infinite glory on display. and seeing & savoring the supremacy of christ frees me from the bondage of sins. and i need to be set free. and freedom is knowing that we are totally & completely his. and its doing what we love to do & it being gods will. something else i really loved is that coming to faith in christ is not a "decision" its a DESIRE. and coming to faith in him requires a resurrection from the dead. and the supremacy of his grace awakens the spiritually dead. he has the power to do that! and he DESIRES to do that. to awaken us all from the dead. to awaken us and bring us to life into a place where can know and love and follow and glorify him. thats what i desire. his name & renown are a desire, not a decision. i am so thankful that over and over and over the lord has reminded me that he pulled me out of the pits & out of the bondage of my sins even when i was not & am not worthy and he gives me life. and he gives me life with a purpose. to bring him glory & to put his glory on display. thank you jesus for that! seeing leads to freeing which enables loving.

on a different note i got to meet two blog friends at passion. hello! it was the best thing ever. first i got to meet lindsey. it was so fun to meet her & talk to her in person! need to get that picture from you, lindsey!
next i met nicole. she was precious & it was so fun to meet her too! i am really thankful for the friends jesus has put in my life...through blogging. i mean they are really great friendships and i think thats the neatest thing.

i found some time during the hustle & bustle of the day to go to the freedom station. what a gift. the freedom stations is where you donate to do something now. for the 27 million people still trapped in slavery. all throughout the line were facts about slavery and visuals to help us try to imagine it. but i dont think we can ever fully imagine it. at least i cant. but im thankful for the opportunity to give to the cause of their FREEDOM. its humbling. and heartbreaking at the same time.

late night. oh man. how do i sum this one up. i will try but i dont think words could do it. after out night session of community group all 43,000+ people there walked outside to the international plaza in complete silent. it was cold & dark and there we all stood in complete silence. but in prayer. prayer for the 27 million. in the center of the plaza was a large sculpture that had everyone there had worked on over the few days of passion. it was a massive hand that stood TALL over the buildings and after you gave in the freedom center you went out to the international plaza and added your own part to the hand. prayers and scripture and words were written on anything from blue jeans to teddy bears to soccer balls. things that have been made by slaves. and they were added to the hand. the hand that would stand tall in atlanta to show what we were raising our voices for. surrounding it were thousands of white flags. representing the 27 million slaves. did you know that right now there are more slaves than ever before in history? yep. at midnight every single one of us 43,000 lit a candle. and we continued to pray. to lift up before the lord those trapped in the horrible and sad reality of slavery. they cant raise their voices, so we got to do it for them. we prayed for freedom. freedom from slavery and freedom in christ. that they can know both. and not long after every candle was lit, the hand was illuminated. and it was something beautiful. and slowly singing started. and then it was even more beautiful. i felt the presence of jesus then maybe more than i ever have before. it was a moment i will never forget and i am thankful i got to be apart of it.

"i believe everyone needs a healer. someone to walk through the fire. all i need, i have found. everyone is looking for a savior. when it feels like the worlds going under. all i need i have found. in my life. jesus. more of you. jesus. you are the one. youre everything. jesus. my heart sings. jesus. you are the one. you are only one. everyday theres a hope to remember. yesterdays been washed in the water."

pictures from day three.

david crowder.

i think maybe i peed my pants when lecrae came out

sweet nicole

i love this.

i didnt take this one. i got it from passions twitter page.

goodness. what a day. thank you jesus for another day full of you. thank you for meeting us there. its not over yet. there is one more day. and it was a good one.

passion::part two.

2012-01-09T14:30:00.000-08:00

"lay me down, i'm not my own. i belong to YOU alone."

passion day two.
it held so much promise and the lord fulfilled the promise of his presence. we started out the morning with our family groups and im so glad. i soaked up every second that i got to sit in a circle with those friends. because we got to sit there and be real with each other and really process what the lord was doing in us. during the morning session my girl beth moore spoke. she brought the word in a powerful way. im serious when i say the lord was slapping me left and right with realizations. one came in the form of beths message. we read out of luke 8 about the woman in the crowd that had been bleeding for twelve years. thats really pretty gross if you think about it. and i know if that was me i sure wouldnt be out in the crowd. i would be sitting in my room throwing myself a pity party. but instead she goes out into the large crowd of people seeking jesus. seeking his touch. i wonder how long it took her to work up the courage to do that. beth made a point that some of our areas of need are so personal and so private that we dont want anyone to know about it. i think im like that sometimes. i feel so unclean that i would rather just keep to myself. or i am afraid my uncleanliness will mess up jesus. and i think sometimes i even trick myself into thinking if i hide from it wont effect me. THATS NOT TRUE. as long as i feel unclean jesus cant do what he wants to do in me because i am not drawing near to him. and jesus calls us to draw near to him with a heart of full assurance. and thats what the bleeding woman does. she finds jesus in the crowd and she simply touches him from behind. and IMMEDIATELY she is healed. i have so many questions. like i wonder if she thought she would even find jesus. or i wonder if she thought if she did find him would he heal her? i wonder if she approached him with a heart of full assurance. she had to. because i would imagine back then that bleeding was a form of unclean that you didnt even speak of. like if you were so unclean that you were literally bleeding for twelve years that no one wanted to talk to you about it. and so i think surely for her to go out into the crowds and seek out jesus she HAD to have a heart of full assurance. and she drew near to him. and he healed her! i remember this verse from my freshman year of high school when we started campaigners with my younglife leader and she made us journals that had that verse written on the front. and that was our prayer for when we met together or even just when we met alone with jesus. that we would come with a heart of full assurance. so i know this verse and i have read this story of an unclean woman who is healed by the touch of jesus because she knows she is unclean and so she comes to jesus. and so i have to ask myself why do i doubt that jesus can heal me when i feel unclean? why cant i just cry out to him that i feel unclean. especially knowing that unless i do, he cant do in me what he wants to. i want him to say to me like he said to the bleeding woman "daughter, your faith has made you well, go in peace." and the most beautiful thing about is that if i will simply stand at the foot of the cross and let him clean me he WILL. i could never be unclean enough to mess up jesus. that is a beautiful truth. and so at passion i was able to call out to the lord that i was unclean..clean me lord. heal me. and he did. i came with a heart of full assurance. and he sure did. thank you jesus for your promise of healing, and that you love me even when i am unclean.
that night francis chan spoke and talked a lot about the word of god. he told us a story about one time he was speaking somewhere and a guy came up to him after and said "hey why do you always just read scripture and just say do it" we all laughed but then i realized the story is kinda funny because come on its francis chan...who critiques him. but its really that simple. read scripture then do what it says. i personally like to take things literally and try to dissect them when its really just as simple as "well in the bible the lord says to do this so do this" my family group and i all agreed that when we read scripture we think hmm i wonder what the lord really means by this. but i dont think he gave us this word so we have to translate it and figure it out. i think he laid it right in front of us so we can do what it says. like go and make disciples. ok, go and make disciples. or caring for the poor. ok, go and care for the poor. so then i have to ask myself do i take the word of god literally? then we kind of explored what it looks like to be deeply rooted in the word and really know it. there is so much truth there and outside of the word there are so many lies and so many people lying to us. so if we are not deeply rooted in the word we arent going to know who is lying to us. and if we dont know the word then we wont know what christ was like and what he calls us to be like. another little point that francis made that really got to me was how excited i get when i have a surprise for someone or have something planned for someone or a gift and i am SO excited for them to see it and know what i have in store for them. so i wonder how excited jesus must be for me to know and see what he has in store for my life. i think that is such a cool picture. in family group we talked about our relationship with jesus and how we spend time with him. whether we grow better spending alone time with jesus or with a group. i think i grow in both and need both. because i need the alone time with jesus but i also need small group or a community setting where i can process what the lord is teaching me with other people. to get other perspectives. i shared with my family group about a book we just finished in my small group. its called my heart christs home and it goes through the "rooms" of your heart and how jesus meets you there. my favorite (but the most convicting) was the living room. it talks about how we promised to spend time with jesus each day like in the morning. and it paints this picture that in the morning jesus is sitting in the living room in the rocking chair at the bottom of the stairs so eager to spend time with me and instead i come racing by saying oh sorry jesus something came up i will spend time with you later. that is seriously convicting. i HAVE to spend time with him and in his word in order to grow in him! that night i walked away really asking myself what needs to change in my life to fall more in love with him?

seriously. it was another incredible day. i am so thankful for the opportunity to go to passion because the lord wrecked me there. he really taught me so much.

some more of my favorite songs.
"we'll be that city on a hill burning brightly. we'll be a light to the world shining your glory."

"i will follow you. the cross before me. the world behind me"

some pictures of day two.

more to come. so much more.

passion::part one.

2012-01-06T18:07:00.000-08:00

"this freedom song is marching on. we raise our white flags, we surrender all to YOU. all for YOU. we raise our white flags, the war is over. love has come. your love has won."

oh my heart is so full as i sit here and reflect on passion. ever since i went to passion last year my heart has longed to be back in that place. so to be back this year was a great feeling. really i havent stopped thinking about it since i got home yesterday. jesus wrecked me. he restored me. and my life was impacted there. but i think it takes coming home and just resting and reflecting to really process it all. the emotions are hitting now and the amazement in what jesus did is in really in full swing. and its something i will continue to process and be amazed by. most be thankful for.

freedom. freedom is what rings in my head when i reflect on passion. freedom for the 43,000 students there that got to literally dance in the freedom of christ. in the freedom that he gave us from the bondage of our sins. and for the freedom of 27 million people trapped in the bondage of slavery & human trafficking. the 27 million that we raised the banner high for. raised our voices for. we were 43,000 voices for the oppressed. it was something beautiful.

jesus was present this week. he promises where two or more are gathered he will be there. and you better believe where 43,000+ are gathered he is there. and moving like a mighty wind. standing in the same place with 43,000 others worshipping jesus is one of the most incredible feelings. i dont think anything could shake that. im willing to say that every single person there felt changed by christ. and felt free in christ. the lord taught me so much this week. and i have so much to share that im going to break it into a few posts.

day one.
it was hectic and it was a rush. i thought last year was crazy with 21,000 people. but oh man. 43,000 this year. it was crazy. but amidst the hustle and bustle jesus was there and speaking straight to my heart. louie taught the first night and said that passion is happening in this season of my life because jesus is intersecting in my life right now. we talked about how we are all being carried to our death but jesus steps in and saves us. he brings us back to LIFE. he is intersecting in MY life all right. i was reminded that jesus deeply desires to heal me but sometimes i dont let him. he wants to heal me and restore me. why would i not let him? sometimes i let the enemy convince me otherwise but jesus is FOR ME. here is the beautiful thing...the enemy may have a plan to destroy me, but jesus has the POWER to raise the dead. and to raise me. ephesians 2 says that without christ, i was dead in my sin but because of his great love i am alive. he gave me life and i have to ask myself if i am trusting him with my entire life right now? because i know a lot of the time i am not. and i got a nice slap in the face when louie said that anything less than total surrender to christ is not following him. ouch. his deepest desire is to raise me from the dead and for me to fully surrender and love and follow him with wreckless abandon. he is a god of mercy & grace. there is no other possible explanation for why he would want to save me. when i was lost and burried so deep in my own sin. i was trapped in the bondage of my sin & i was dead. and he pulled me out the pit when i did not deserve it! GRACE. MERCY. GREAT LOVE. his grace is here at the right time. his grace is here all the time. and the best part is there is freedom in that. there is freedom in him. thank you jesus. and thank you for the reminder that you want to crown me with your beauty. jesus sure is intersecting in my life right now. he intersected especially at passion. because i was in a dry place. and he filled me. he filled with me good & hopeful things. the lord is good. and he was SO good at passion.

after the first session we headed to community groups. one of my favorite parts of passion. out of 43,000 we found ourselves in a community group of 4,500. and out of that we found ourselves sitting in a circle with 8 complete strangers. we start with whats your name, where do you live, and where do you go to school. and maybe five minutes later we are sharing our hearts and what the lord is doing in them. and its the sweetest thing. last year i was seriously obsessed with my family group and i thought no way could this year compare. but as usual the lord laughed at me and blew me away with my family group. both years the community group leader said ok on the count of three everyone point to one person in your family group that you want to be your leader and they will just need to be here early each morning and lead the questions and stuff. and both years it went like this...one, two, three...everyone pointed to me. but you know both times i have really enjoyed it because i have gotten the privilege of getting everyone in my groups numbers and be able to text them throughout the week and let them know i am praying for them and cant wait to hear what the lord is doing. and now they are my friends. and i am thankful for that.

late night on the first night was so so so good. david crowder band. whom i love. it was their last concert ever. their last hoorah. kind of bittersweet. they are just so talented and have produced such great music so i, along with everyone else, am sad it to see it end. but you know its actually incredible because they are following the lord. this was a season and now its ending and they are being obedient to that. but the concert was AWESOME. and on the bright side, they are releasing their last album and it is a double cd with 35 songs. and they let all of us at passion get our hands on it early. and let me tell you...its incredible.

it was a late night. we didnt get back to our hotel and with four girls sharing a hotel room who all need to shower i wasnt in bed until 2:30 am. yikes! it was up early the next day but im glad because i wanted to soak up every second there. day two held so much promise and the lord delivered. i cant wait to share about the rest of passion and the things the lord did in me. but i have to skip ahead a little to last day. this year passion teamed up with several organizations for do something now. all for the cause of freedom for the 27 million people trapped in slavery and human trafficking. its all around the world. but it is also HERE. and that breaks my heart. we had the privilege for raising our voices for the oppressed. we saw videos and heard stories of those who were once slaves but are now FREE thanks to these organizations. we were reminded over and over that ignorance is not an excuse. and indifference is not an option. its time for us to RISE UP and raise the banner for freedom high. we are the generation and we are the voices. and i would say we rose up. because the passion team set a goal for do something now of $1 million. and the lord provided because we raised $3,660,670 to end slavery. god is so good. he really is so good.

some pictures from day one. just a few, more to come. (almost every picture i took is from my phone)

some of my favorite songs.
"your love never fails. never gives up. never runs out on me."
"it will be my JOY to say, YOUR will, YOUR way. always!"

"be lifted HIGHER than all you've overcome. you're name be LOUDER than any other song. here is no power than can come against your love. the cross was enough."

"great god. wrap your arms around the world tonight."

watch this. it was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. when that childrens choir from uganda sang you better believe i was weeping.

more from passion coming. more of what jesus taught me. more of what jesus did. more pictures. more favorite songs. and more of meeting two blog friends!

my christmas looked like this.

2011-12-31T11:41:00.000-08:00

it never fails, i am a little depressed when the christmas lights go down, the music stops playing and the christmas festivities end. but hey, it was a great christmas so i cant complain! we celebrated christmas eve again with hannah & her family. we all went to the christmas eve candlelight service at church then came back to our house & salsaritas catered. its not your typical christmas eve dinner but its fun & we love it! and it was so yummy! then we all exchanged gifts and just got to hang out for the evening. it was a night FULL of laughter. my favorite. christmas morning austin woke us up but was so kind to wait until about 8:30. we all headed into the den together to see what santa had brought! it was a fun morning and i got some great things! christmas morning is so fun here! austins excitement is enough for all of us! plus my parents send us on a scavenger hunt for some of our presents so it is definitely entertaining. i got a couple new patagonias, j.crew rainboots + fleece rainboot socks, some clothes & jewelry from j.crew, more clothes, a purse, sunglasses & some other fun things! i was super excited! we spent the rest of the morning & afternoon just hanging out & watching movies then that evening headed out to my aunts. all in all it was a great christmas & i am thankful.

the only picture i took of christmas. little chunk setting out cookies & milk for santa

leading up to christmas i had some fun things to do. my favorite was celebrating christmas with my sweet young life girls! we all met at a japanese steak house for a delish dinner then came back to my house for a gift exchange and decorating gingerbread cookies. i seriously love these girls so much. they constantly make me laugh & i am so thankful for my friendships with them!

and a couple days after christmas i got together when some of my friends for mexican food & game night! it was one of the funniest nights i have had in a LONG time!

this has been a GREAT christmas break so far!!! aaaaand passion is in TWO DAYS!!!!

when they are broken.

2011-12-21T18:40:00.000-08:00

right now i want to post about christmastime and that is only four days away and the fun things we are doing to celebrate. but my heart is too heavy. its been a tough week with lots of heart break. not for me personally but in my community and friends. and its like a ripple effect. it hurts me because it hurts my heart to see my friends so broken. sometimes i forget that shit happens. yes i just said shit. and it happens no matter if its christmastime or not. but because it is christmastime and it is supposed to be such a joyful time that makes it worse. last week three girls from the school i lead younglife at were in a wreck. one was put on life support and two days later was taken off and passed away. and it has broken the community of hardin valley and shattered our high school friends. especially the other two girls in the wreck. mostly the one driving. no one should ever have to live with that burden. especially a high schooler. on sunday the administration opened the school for kids to just come and be together. to talk together and pray together and cry together. to ask questions and to be sad and to be mad and even to laugh together. i am so blessed to have been put in that community and in that school with an administration that is kind and compassionate and loves their students so well. they brought in all of the guidance counselors and invited the young life leaders to come and be there. so we did and to be honest some of us were scared. we knew we would have to face something like that but i didnt know it would be so soon. we were told "not if, but when, tragedy strikes it is our job as younglife leaders to be present for kids" and thats what we did. it wasnt exactly comfortable and it definitely wasnt fun. but we did it because thats where jesus wanted us. thats what he has called us to do. to step into their lives. to really step in even in the mess and hurt and meet them where they are like he so faithfully does for us. we went and we sat in silence and the kids just sat and stared at each other. amidst the silence, in walked the other two girls from the wreck. one of which has lost her sight. other kids began to gather around them and the only sound that could be heard was crying. and it tore up my heart. finally one of the guidance counselors who is also a yl leader gathered up her boldness and asked them if they would like to pray together. and two kids stepped up and led one of the most beautiful prayers i have ever heard. it was beautiful because the lord brought it from the ashes. he really does make beautiful things out of dust. after that rachel asked them to tell their favorite thing about their friend that died and funny stories about her. and they did and then there was the most precious sound of laughter. but what i saw then was the hardest part. they were laughing and in an instant their faces would go blank. no emotion. numb. they are broken and they are mad and i think they are really confused. why would their friend be taken? the other two girls in the wreck never said a work. they never smiled and they never laughed. it was like they were there but they werent really there. its going to be a long healing process for them. for everyone i think. but i am glad we got to be there with them. to pray with them and cry with them and laugh with them. we are called to be there with them when life is good and fun. we are called to be there to with them in the pits and the peaks of life. we are called to be there with them when they are broken and in shambles. we got to be the hands & feet of jesus and i think that is all we can ask for. please pray for our high school friends. as they begin to ask questions and heal. and that maybe they will seek jesus in this. and pray for the girls families. as the heal too. and maybe they will seek jesus too.

sunday my neighbor called to tell us that her nephew was killed in a car accident. he was only 13 and was a twin. the mom & both boys were in the car. they are broken. especially the brother. his whole life he has had not only a brother but a twin and now he doesnt. pray for them too. especially because it is so close to christmas.

today i found out that one of my great friends dad is on life support. just last night he was diagnosed with a brain tumor and was told there was nothing the doctors can do. so he is on life support until they choose to take him off. their world flipped upside down and in literally less than 24 hours their lives are forever changed. they said only a miracle can change things. so that is what we are praying for. its possible. but only the lord knows if that is his plan. i have been praying so hard for them. so incredibly hard. please do the same. please. they love the lord so deeply and i know they are falling on him but it is still breaking them.

i want to rejoice in this christmas season but in the last few days that has been kind of hard. i would imagine it is near impossible for all of these friends. so for now i will continue to pray hard for my dear friends. and i will rejoice in this season and rest in what the lord has blessed me with.

nashville + rockettes.

2011-12-17T22:19:00.000-08:00

last weekend we ventured off to nashville to see the radio city rockettes! nashville is one of my very favorite cities so of course we made a weekend out of it. me + mom + sister + friends. we shopped. a lot. we ate. a lot. we laughed. a lot. and of course, we saw the rockettes! we have seen them several times but once again they did not disappoint. i am like a little girl when i watch them. i really think that the sound of their shoes tapping when they dance is the most magical sound. i could just listen to them for hours upon hours and never get tired of it. they are incredible.
nashville is the best place to shop. so of course we were loving that. however it was only two weekends before christmas so it was absolutely nuts!! but thats ok. we stuck it out. especially for anthropologie. we got there saturday early afternoon, shopped all day, had some dinner then went to the show. and again, it was seriously so so good. after dinner we went to the opryland hotel to walk around and look at all the christmas lights. it was beautiful!! then we were tired so we came back to our hotel and watched elf & headed to bed. sunday morning we got up & ready and headed to the cheesecake factory for lunch. nom nom nom. one of the best parts of nashville. seriously. after lunch...more shopping. finally we were all exhausted so we loaded up and headed back home. it was a short trip but it was a constant go go go (which i love) but by the time we got back home we were sleeeeeeepy.
it was a great weekend! i love christmas traditions like this! i didnt take my camera, so iphone pictures it is!

anthropologie. grand ole opry.

opryland christmas lights. outside opryland.

opryland. cheesecake factory. yummy.

kate spade store. a little shopping.

such a fun weekend! take me back!!

im really thankful for my team.

2011-12-09T21:41:00.000-08:00

last thursday was supposed to be christmas club for younglife at hva. it was supposed to be our last club of the semester. i was so excited! we all were! wacky tacky christmas sweaters, christmas games, signing christmas carols, 12 days of christmas skit & hearing about Jesus. but plans changed. instead we texted all of our high school friends and told them to meet us at the hva basketball game. to be honest i was pretty bummed about it. i think several of us were. but i spent the afternoon praying about the night and that the lord would still use it. and that all of us leaders would be at peace with canceling club. and i think Jesus did use the night. first before the game our team had dinner + team meeting. normally we have team meeting + dinner at a sweet familys house but this week they were out of town. so instead we got to meet where we normally have club. only this time there were no high schoolers. just leaders. it was a neat thing. to get to just rest and be still in the place that is normally crazy with high school kids. dont get me wrong. i LOVE every single second i am in that room full of kids. there is no place i would rather be. but it was a cool thing for us to just sit on the floor in a circle as a team and just be together. to catch up on life and pray for each other and pray for our high school friends and even pray for the game. that we would see our friends there and get to hang out with them and have conversation. we spent a little while there. had dinner. had intentional conversation and prayed. then we had some fun! who am i kidding, we always have fun when we are together. and of course, we took lots of pictures. i am so incredibly thankful for my team. so thankful i dont even know a word. i am borderline obsessed with them. they are really my favorite people and there is no one i would rather do ministry with. i love watching how the lord is using each of us in different ways. but all for the same purpose. to tell broken and hurting and lost high school kids that there is a god that loves them so much and cares for them so deeply and is running so hard after them. it is nothing short of a gift.
after our time together we all headed to the basketball game! it was such a fun time. three of the girls i hang out with were cheering and it was so fun to get to watch them! and one other was there in the student section and she came & sat with me the whole time! we just talked and laughed and made fun plans for christmas break. i love those girls. i mean i really really love them.

my seriously good looking team

mad wore her christmas sweater anyways

gathered 'round the tree

im thankful for such a great night. and im thankful for reminders that Jesus is in control and no matter if things go how we planned, he will use them. and im thankful for my high school friends and the joy they bring me. and im thankful for my team. so so so thankful.

he fights for me.

2011-12-06T21:22:00.000-08:00

i will say it once and i will say it again. younglife leadership is one of the best things in my life. i am so thankful for the way the young life staff & committee love on us and support us. they really do such a great job of investing in our lives and pursuing us. i consider the privilege i have of pursuing high school girls and pouring into them pure JOY and a gift. but sometimes i feel dry & empty and i personally need to be poured into. and that is exactly what i get when i go to leadership. they encourage and love on and pour into US. leadership blesses me so much. i love walking away every time we meet feeling so encouraged + challenged.

last week we had our leadership christmas party. it was such a great night. we had it at an art emporium in downtown knoxville. i love exploring downtown & i have never been to this place before! it was such an artsy building with exposed brick on the inside + lots of twinkling lights. you know i loved it! we had a deeeeeeelish dinner, sang some beautiful christmas carols + heard a great message. and for christmas every leader got a new bible! thats one of those gifts where years down the road you look at it & know exactly where it came from and are reminded of sweet memories. im thankful for that.

my favorite song we sang that night: (immanuel)

he fights for breath he fights for me

loosing sinners from the claims of hell

and with a shout our souls are free

death defeated by immanuel.

i am so glad to be reminded that jesus fights for me. he fought to save me from the claims of hell and he continues to fight for me. i have got to learn to rest in that. i needed to hear that.

know that jesus fights for you.

sproutsgiving.

2011-12-04T21:29:00.000-08:00

last tuesday night was sproutsgiving. it was a night full of my favorite people, laughter, lots of yummy food, pictures and sharing what we are thankful for.
first. what the heck is sproutsgiving? sprouts is our small group. sproutsgiving is our small group thanksgiving. this is why we are called sprouts. we are always looking for a catchy name for our small group. earlier this semester we were reading in mark about how jesus plants seeds. and the seeds sprout. even when we dont understand how they could possibly sprout. or how the harvest could be so good. so we started talking about what our sprouts are. what is the harvest in our life that amazes us and we wonder how & why the lord would choose to produce such a harvest for us. mine is my ministry with younglife at hva. never did i expect to have several friendships with high school girls already. i really thought it would take a long time. but jesus planted the seeds and the seeds sprouted. they sprouted into the most precious friendships in which i get to love on and pursue high school girls. and just hang out with them. and mostly love them like jesus and tell them about the god that loves them so deeply. i am so thankful for that. after we all shared our sprouts we kind of decided that our small group was a sprout. jesus planted a seed at the beginning of quest and then a whole year later here we are. still sitting together once a week to talk about life and jesus and to laugh together. they are my best friends. we dont understand how we deserve the was jesus allowed that seed to sprout into something so beautiful. but we sure are thankful. so now, we are the sprouts.
sproutsgiving. we all contributed to the sproutsgiving feast. and boy. it.was.good. we had dinner together and then, of course, shared what we are thankful for. it was a sweet time. we played some games and laughed a whole lot. and of course, took some pictures. i am so thankful for small group. it is one of the sweetest things in my life. my heart is so thankful for steph, maelena, taylor, rebecca, audrey, steph g, cayce, audrey, kim, jane, jess, brooke & abbie. i love that each one of us is SO incredibly different. but it just works with us. we all get along so well and encourage each other and love each other so well. we know each others struggles. we know each others trials and triumphs. and were not really afraid to say hey suck it up. or hey well its really your fault that this happened. i love that. i dont always love hearing it. but i love that we can do that for each other. i just really love the sprouts a lot.

we sprouts live for tradition & holidays. and this was a good one. a really really good one.

thankful heart.

2011-11-24T08:30:00.000-08:00

i am thankful for jesus and his grace. my family. friends. community. small group. laughter. reminders of christ and his faithfulness. my education. hope. young life. hva. my yl team. high school girls i get to love on. jesus meeting me where i am. quality time with my family. crossroads. yl leadership. jesus calling. christmas music. coffee. pictures. memories. joy. knowing i am his beloved. blogging. iphones. a job. rainy days. the work on the cross. flannel sheets. the lake. peace in christ. a love that casts out all fear. knoxville. jcrew. weekends. community support for ministry. funny text messages. encouraging text messages. a relational and intentional god. the younglife house. driving with the windows down. worship songs. prayer circles. a god who promises to give me the desires of my heart. candles. work crew. fellowship. patagonias. wool socks. chocolate. finally knowing what i want to major in and do as a career. fresh flowers. friendships and encouragement through blogging. greys anatomy. christmastime and the joy it brings. the smell of dinner cooking right around the corner. a warm home full of love. childhood friends who have continued to love me over the years. carpooling with steph to small group. music. intentional conversation. hard questions. sweet jesus and the way he loves me. holidays. traditions. thanksgiving.

all that glitters.

2011-11-20T15:02:00.000-08:00

the holidays really make me like sparkly things. nothing too crazy, just a little glitter here & there. these are a few things i have bought & some things i have my eye on. i just think sparkles are so festive and i am all for some christmas spirit.

j.crew

i bought this a couple days ago & LOVE it. i am covered in glitter though but i dont hate it.

j.crew

opi

this will probably be purchased tomorrow. cant wait any longer

loft

bought these at work the other day & cant wait to wear them. i love the sparkly toe!

loft

literally think i have worn these everyday since i bought them.

j.crew

dear santa, please??

j.crew

i wish i was cool enough to carry this. sassy.

loft

also think i have worn these everyday since i bought them.

i like glitter. and i love christmas. 35days.35days.35days.

you love me as i am.

2011-11-17T21:39:00.000-08:00

tonight was a first. i led music at yl club for the first time tonight. well kind of led. ryan plays guitar & leads and then a girl leader leads with him. luckily he is a fantastic singer and sings loud. or at least its lucky for me because bless the hearts of those that have to hear me sing. but it was so fun. i have to be honest i was really nervous. im not sure why because we dont even have microphones. but i suck at singing. i mean really really suck. but once i got up there i just had a great time and got into and we picked some great songs so it was great. my favorite was a new song that a guy in yl wrote called as i am and it talks about how jesus loves us just as we are and that no one else can love us like that. its a privilege to share that kind of thing with our high school friends. gosh i love club so much. every single week i leave with my heart feeling so full. full because jesus met us at club. full because i am so obsessed with my team. full because i love hva so greatly. full from hearing laughter of all of our high school friends. full from watching conversation happen among kids and leaders after they just heard about this guy named jesus. full from spending time with the girls i have come to love so quickly. and full because i am so thankful to be a part of such a great ministry. each week a leader gets the privilege of standing in front of all the kids at club and telling them about a man named jesus and how they have personally encountered him and how he wants to encounter each of them. it is such a treat to hear from my teammates each week. but last week we did something different. last week chris stood up and asked everyone to listen as we heard from several people who are in the bible who actually got to walk with jesus and encounter him and their personal stories and maybe to see if they identified themselves with of these stories. so several leaders were scattered throughout the room and stood up and told stories of people in the bible and their encounters with jesus. like the inn keeper, and the woman at the well, and a disciple, and a friend of jesus, and peter when he doubted jesus, and mary when she went to jesus' tomb and he wasnt there. at our team meeting before club while we were going over what club would look like chris told us that after everyone told their stories that maybe instead of our typical after club dance party that maybe we could just play some softer music and that maybe we could have some intentional conversation with our friends. that they might identify with one of the stories and they could talk to their leader. and we prayed hard for that to happen. just simply for conversation. and it happened. and it was the sweetest thing to get to watch & be a part of. some of the girls i hang out with & i talked about how they relate with the one who doubted jesus. one girl asked me how it was possible that he multiplied the bread and fish when he fed the huge crowd. one girl told me that she believes in jesus but sometimes she asks herself how it could all be true. conversation. it was so good. and i was so thankful. jesus met us there and was so present in conversation. one of the greatest things about after club is when a few of us stay to clean and we just chat about how jesus met us there and how he was faithful to answer our prayers for club. tonight was no exception. there was a crowd and there was laughter and the talk was hard to give but it was what jesus wanted and i know he was so pleased with chris for telling our high school friends the truth and that there is a god that loves them so deeply and wants them to know he forgives them. there was talk after club of starting campaigners for different groups and that made me so excited! cant wait to start campaigners with my friends.

tonight i am going to sleep with a full heart. and i am resting in knowing that he loves me just as i am.

i like to smile, smilings my favorite.

2011-11-13T17:10:00.000-08:00

i am in christmas mode. im currently sitting here watching elf for the first time this year + drinking hot chocolate out of my new anthropologie initial mug. hello, holidays.

so i am sharing some of my favorite things for christmastime + my favorite christmas albums.

clockwise from top left:

+ essie nail polish: scarlett o'hara + jag-u-are

+ hersheys candy cane kisses

+dave barnes very merry christmas cd

+ a k-town christmas cd [this is by several younglife leaders here in knoxville + some of their friends]

+ bath&body works winter candy apple candle

+ matt wertz snow globe cd

+ starbucks holiday cups + seasonal drinks

+ shane & shane glory in the highest cd

+ drew holcomb & the neighbors a neighborly christmas cd

+ michael buble christmas cd

42 days until christmas!

that about wraps it up.

2011-11-01T14:07:00.000-07:00

its november. and i am really happy about that. because a. i am ready for the semester to be over and b. christmas is seriously right around the corner. real talk: i have been listening to christmas music today. also starbucks had christmas cups last night and i about peed my pants i was so excited. if you really knew me you would know that i am completely obsessed with christmas. and the christmas season, i think, is too short. so i start early. really early. as in today. at least as far as music goes.

technically fall isnt over yet. not for awhile. but i think that because halloween is over fall is wrapping up. and it has been a good one. multiple trips to sharptop cove. young life. dollywood. pumpkins. and good times with friends.
last week was full of fall fun. and i wrapped up the week with a very full heart.
early last week i spent the day at dollywood with my sweet friends lyndsie & daniel and their family. and i was SO excited to get to love on their sweet baby ethan! he is the most precious thing ever! i havent seen them since i went to stay with them in january and i was missing them so much. we had the best day and i am so thankful for time with them!

thursday for young life we had halloween club. everyone came dressed up & we had a great time. i though long & hard about my costume. not really. i was a tree. or mother nature. or fall. you decide.
gosh i have so much love for my team and our high school friends at hva.

friday. oh friday. i took a little road trip with some of my very favorite people to chattanooga for the ben rector & needtobreathe. oh my gosh it was so so so good. and the trip was a blast. man can needtobreathe perform. wow.

so thankful for a group of friends that i can do fun things like this with.

and saturday...back to dollywood. this time with taylor. it was so cold but we still managed to have a great day!!

i love fall and i have really enjoyed it. but i am ready to wrap it up and move on to christmas!!!

side note: something we talked about at crossroads last night.
mercy is not getting what we do deserve. [hell]
grace is getting what we do not deserve. [heaven]

a mission of mercy.

2011-10-30T17:49:00.000-07:00

im thankful for what jesus has been teaching me and reminding me of lately.
im thankful for the presence of jesus. im reading jesus calling and i swear everyday it punches me in the face. i have learned so much and been reminded so much of jesus' presence. his presence with me is a promise and protection. he promises that his presence is continual. it enables me to face each day with confidence. i can relax in being totally authentic in his presence. his perpetual presence is a continual source of joy. jesus wants me to open my heart to his presence and approval. lingering and resting in his presence before each day will equip me what lies ahead. being aware of is presence will make it easier for me to discern which path to take. i love knowing i can rest in his presence. and that he wants so badly for me to spend time with him there. my small group is finishing up a little book called my heart, christs home. and it looks at every "room" of your heart and how christ meets you there. the other day we read through a part that talks about the living room and how we come down the stairs and jesus is sitting there waiting to spend time with us because we made plans with him. but we often just look at him and say something like sorry im in a hurry i have got to get going but wait up for me ill spend time with you later. and that is so true for me. and when i acknowledge how true that is for me it hurts my heart. because he is always waiting for me. waiting for me to simply sit in his presence and talk to him and rest in him. why would i want to turn that time down. i dont know. i really dont. i especially dont know why i wouldnt want to spend time with him at the beginning of each day. because he has planned out my entire day and knows what my day will look like. and he wants to equip me for that. but when i turn down time with him i turn down the opportunity to be equipped for my day. mostly i know this: i am complete in his presence.

------------------------

im thanful for mercy. at crossroads the other night we talked about mercy. christ deeply desires not only to show us mercy, but for us to seek his mercy. and to love his mercy. jesus says in hebrews "let us approach the throne of grace that we might find mercy." i am really really thankful for mercy. back at leadership weekend we talked about one word answers to describe our relationship with christ. grace. love. peace. joy. life. forgiveness. abundance. trust. rest. there was a lot. but i dont think i ever said mercy. im glad i was reminded of christs mercy. and that he desires for us to desire mercy. i loved at crossroads when greg said

i am a mission of mercy.

------------------------

im thankful for the other words the lord has been gently reminding me of.

"my deepest desires find fulfillment in Him alone." [jesus calling]

"he created even the grayest days....joy is always attainable." [jesus calling]

"to pray like jesus is entrusting ones whole self into being heard by god and being known by god"

"christ chose me more for my weaknesses more than my strengths" [jesus calling]

i love this one a lot.

"who satisfies your desires with good and lovely things" [ellie holcomb]

"we will never have another relationship like the one we have with jesus." [jesus calling]

"seek justice. love mercy.
walk humbly with your god."

fall is my favorite.

2011-10-23T15:19:00.000-07:00

fall break always seems to come at the most perfect time. fall break this year was especially great because i only go to school tuesday & thursday and my schools fall break was monday & tuesday. so i got friday-wednesday with no school. awesome. and much needed. the thursday & friday before my fall break was hva's fall break so i got to spend some time with my young life girls. we had a few ideas of what we wanted to do but we chose to spend the day in pigeon forge. and oh my gosh. we had the best time. other than the young life banquet and dinner one time i have never hung out with them outside of club or school. so this was a treat. and so exciting. i picked all five of them up and we headed up to pigeon forge. it was one of the most beautiful days i have seen in a long time. the colors up there were beautiful. we got some lunch, went and rode go carts at the.best.track.ever, went to my favorite candy store in pigeon forge (the country candy kitchen...SO good), stopped & took pictures in front of the dixie stampede and then just spent some time wondering around pigeon forge. i really had so much fun with them. i love hanging out with them. they are hilarious.

------------------------------------------------------

other fall happenings:

(1)

(2)

(3)

(4)

(5)

(6)

(7)

(8)

(9)

(10)

(11)

1 & 2. spending lots of time with my sweet friend kayla, her husband & their sweet new baby girl before they go back to fl.

3 & 4. beautiful fall colors of tennessee.

5, 6 & 7. pumpkin carving with my small group.

8, 9 & 10. young life leadership.

11. bonfire, s'mores & good laughs with some other yl leaders.

fall is treating me well.

work crew.

2011-10-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

i got to spend last weekend at my very favorite place: sharptop cove. and i got to spend it with some of my greatest friends serving on work crew. and it was awesome. most of the group were servers in the dining hall but me and a few others were am cooks. we had to be in the kitchen by 7am but we were so happy to be there that is was just fine. cooking at a young life camp is like nothing i have ever done. i mean we are cooking for 500+ people. first thing we made was pancakes...i have never seen so many in my life.

i know every time i talk about young life camp i say it is the closest place to heaven. and every time i go to a yl camp i believe that even more. especially this weekend because we were tucked away in the mountains and surrounded my trees which were all changing beautiful colors and the weather was just perfect. i had the sweetest time serving and spending time with my friends. we worked a lot but our work crew bosses were great to let us go to club with the campers and gave us saturday afternoon for free time. it was so nice. there was only about 10 or so of us from knoxville and we all just sat in a big circle by the pool and talked and laughed. and i needed the weekend. i needed to be away from knoxville and away from reality & spend a weekend in the bubble that is young life camp. for every weekend camp the speaker talks about jesus + the cross on saturday night. i have heard this talk countless times. but this weekend for some reason it just about knocked me to the ground. it was good. really good. and i needed it. im thankful for a weekend where i not only got to serve but i got to be reminded and refreshed and restored.

found: community.

2011-10-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

throughout high school i had great friends and i love them still but i never knew community with them. fall semester of last year as i got to know my small group and i quickly began to learn what community looks like. community that loves you and encourages you and is intentional with you. community that you can sit and talk with and also have so much fun with.

then spring semester rolled around and i was finally able to go to quest on wednesdays. and then i began to feel even more sense of community. every week i got to sit in the young life house with 70 something other people my age who love jesus and desire to tell lost high school kids about a god that loves them and the grace he has to offer. and i think i learned more about grace through the community i found in quest. its a good thing. to have community like that.
then i got placed as a young life leader and i met my team. i have such great love for my team. this group of people that i get to do ministry with. that i get to meet with and talk and pray with. pray for hardin valley and for our high school friends and for club and for each other. we get to do life together and im thankful for that. this community keeps growing and i love that. i have my small group, my quest class, my team, and knoxville young life leadership. this huge group of people here in town that i find community in. this huge group of people that all have the same desire in our hearts to love on high school kids. and this huge group of people that i get to meet with twice a month for fellowship and worship. and laughter. so much laughter.
im so thankful for community. community that pushes me closer to jesus and makes me want to be more like him. community that loves me and encourages me and pursues my heart. and community that makes me laugh. thats a big one.
im thankful for my small group. for steph who devotes so much time in her busy life to lead our small group. im thankful for kim, rebecca, brooke, taylor, courtney, cayce, stephanie, jane, maelena and audrey. im thankful for the friendships i have made through leadership. taylor who has quickly become one of my very best friends. im thankful for chris who stepped up and leads our team at hardin valley and his heart for high school kids. im thankful for my other teammates erica, becca, andrea, joel, hannah, michael, laura, robert, anne, rachel, maddie, holly and daniel. im thankful for neely and brandon. im thankful for friends like meredith who encourages me with her sweet words even if she doesnt realize it. im thankful for the knoxville young life staff. they are such a picture of community and christlike friendships. im just really thankful for the community i have found through young life and the people i get to do life with. i have found community and my heart is full.

younglife banquet.

2011-10-03T18:04:00.000-07:00

we had our knoxville young life banquet last week & it was awesome. over 2000 guests. guest speaker: jeff foxworthy. found out that hes not just funny. but that he loves jesus. and young life. i like him more now.

we had 500 high school kids all wearing matching tshirts who stampeded in at the end of the banquet to say thank you to the thousands of people that support young life and help us continue to do ministry and reach the lost high school kids in town. and everywhere. i think its good for the kids and even the leaders to see the faces of those who support us. its a good reminder and im thankful. and i also think it was so special for all of the guest and supporters to see the faces of the high school kids whose lives their touching. the high school kids who get to hear about jesus weekly.

i got to take six of my high school friends and we had the best time. i picked the girls up from cheerleading practice so they were hyper. i loved every second of it. we went to the banquet then we all went to have dinner together after. each time i see them i pray for conversation. not necessarily deep conversation. i would love that but right now we are just building friendships. so i just pray for conversation in general. mostly that there will be conversation. oh, there was conversation. i also pray a lot that they will like me. not because i need them to like me to feel good about myself or anything. but that they like me so they will hang out with me and come to club so they can hear about jesus. there was one girl in specific that i was kind of feeling like she wasnt feelin it with me. but thats ok. i was just thinking it might take time.

and then i got home from the banquet and checked twitter & she tweeted this...

" i love my young life leader, and group!"

and i cried. im not completely sure why except for thats just what i do. i cry. and i cried. because it makes me excited for the friendships i am building with these girls. and i cant wait to hang out with them more.

something else i have been praying for is that i could meet some of their parents. and that the parents would be supportive of me hanging out with their kids. i got to meet all of their parents. and they were all so so so nice and thanked me for hanging out with them. one told me to let her know if i needed anything. youll never guess what i did when i got back in my car after.....i cried. because the lord is answering my prayers. answering them in such sweet ways. prayers that seem so dumb when i pray...i mean i am praying that 14 year old girls will like me and that their parents will let them hang out with me. but then i remember why i want them to like me and why i want their parents to let them hang out with me and i guess its not dumb at all. hes answering them. and my heart is so full.

the freshman girls i brought with me. im kind of obsessed with them

a whole bunch of hva girls

jeff foxworthy

the sunsphere. i love downtown knoxville.

ill find you there.

2011-09-22T20:52:00.000-07:00

my heart is so full.

younglife club was.so.awesome. tonight.

we sang a song tonight called ill find you there.

"when i needed hope,

when i needed peace,

when i needed understanding,

ill find you there.

ill find you there, oh lord."

and we found him there tonight.

last week was our first club of the year & we had prayed and prayed for it and oh my goodness did jesus reveal himself to us. as silly as it sounds, one thing we have been praying hard for is that more boys would come to club. weve had about 3/4 girls & 1/4 boys some and thats great but high school guys need to be loved & hear about jesus too and so we prayed a lot for some more high school guys to come. oh my goodness. there was a ton of guys last week & this week. we prayed for energy & enthusiasm. oh my goodness. there was a ton of that too. last week we prayed for them to come back this week. they did. and we prayed for there to be more. there were. what a gift. and what a blessing to spend our thursday nights having fun and hearing about jesus with a bunch of crazy high school kids. it was loud, it was fun, it was full of jesus. and it was beautiful. so beautiful.

club last week & this week were both just times where we left feeling so encouraged. all of the kids left and we circled up and just looked at each other grinning ear to ear. and tonight in our team meeting chris asked us how we felt about last week. and again we kind of all just looked at each other grinning ear to ear. we are happy. really happy. and weve only had two clubs. i think jesus is going to rock hardin valley this year and i couldnt be more excited to be a part of that.

last week three of the freshman girls i have been hanging out with came to club. treat. this week they came back & brought three friends. another treat. its so fun seeing them excited. this next tuesday is the young life banquet and hopefully i can take some of them with me. they all seemed really excited and want to go so hopefully some of them will. the lord has really surprised me in the best way possible at how fast i have met some girls. i thought it would take awhile to get to know some girls and even bring some to club. but i have already hung out with a few & they are coming to club! that doesnt mean i stop meeting girls. i get even more excited with every new girl i meet. but i am loving getting to know these sweet girls that the lord has already put in my path at hardin valley. cant wait to love on them over the next few years.

speaking of hardin valley...man we are blessed to have such a welcoming administration at that school. they are so kind to us. the school officer there is the bomb. weve talked a couple times in passing and ive thought he was awesome. then last week i was at the school hanging posters with another leader and she and i were just saying that sometimes on the car ride to the school we just feel discouraged or if we have had a crappy day its just hard to be excited to be in the school. then the school officer came over to check out the poster. it said "guess whos back, back, back. back again. younglifes back. tell a friend." you know...like the eminem song? i dont like eminem but i do know that song. anyways he didnt know it so hannah and i sang it for him. then he says this to us..."you know its really special what yall do in this school and im grateful you do it." we told him, truthfully, there is no place we would rather be. then he said "i try to be a light here but working in the school system its a really fine line" then hannah asked him if he is a believer. he said "oh yes!! i love the lord" and then he told us this "these kids need to be loved and youre doing a great job. and never forget that the word says we plant the seed and we may never see the fruit but there will be fruit. so i want to encourage you to continue to plant the seeds." he said bye & i left crying. jesus used officer puckett to encourage the crap out of me. and i was so grateful. and i am so grateful to know we have him and an administration that supports us as best they can.

i love younglife and hardin valley and my team and i there is nowhere else id rather be.

something like this.

2011-09-19T19:41:00.000-07:00

one. i am currently sitting in my most comfortable bed, with a sweet cinnamon pumpkin candle burning, a cup of hot chocolate & watching the season premiere of how i met your mother. lord i love that show. so freakin funny.

two. big news: my best friend got ENGAGED last night!! what!?!? i am so stinkin excited for them!!

let the wedding planning (aka...my FAVORITE thing) begin! i have know for a while & im so glad i dont have to keep that secret anymore!!

three. im in full fall mode here....like to the point of overload if that is possible. put out a few little decorations. burning fall candles like they are going out of style. drinking an ungodly amount of pumpkin spice lattes. reading fall magazines. and even got the cutest new fall tervis tumbler i have ever seen.

also stocked up on some sweet cinnamon pumpkin bath & body works tonight

four. i am obsessed with the new ben rector cd something like this. SO good. and i am seeing him in concert on saturday! CANT wait!! and this video is hilarious.

five. bridesmaids comes out on dvd tomorrow. buying it as soon as i get out of class. & watching it (for the fourth time) tomorrow night.

six. the new needtobreathe cd comes out tomorrow too & i am SO SO excited!! getting that one tomorrow morning when i wake up. i think that will make waking up at 6:30 for class a little better.

seven. last tuesday i took three freshmen girls from hva to dinner. my first time hanging out with younglife girls. i was kinda nervous but it was so good. they are all cheerleaders & i had a flashback to the first time my young life leader took me & my 2 best friends who were both cheerleaders to dinner. im so thankful for the way my young life leader pursued me all though high school. who she was and is in my life encourages to run hard after these high school girls. i had such a fun time with those girls & im so excited to pursue a friendship with them. cant wait to go watch them cheer at their homecoming game this friday!

eight. i am so ridiculously tired. goodnight.

leadership weekend.

2011-09-13T14:31:00.000-07:00

i got to spend this past weekend at my absolute favorite place in the world. sharptop cove, a young life camp. it is seriously the most beautiful place i have ever been. and i got to be there with the people i love most. 500 other young life leaders from tennessee. beautiful. i have said before that i think young life camps are the closest thing to heaven. and i mean that. they are such a sweet place to be where you live in a community that loves you and encourages you and together you love jesus. and during worship this weekend my friend & i looked at each other & said i think this is what the worship in heaven will be like. there was instruments, & then the instruments stopped it was 500 voices singing how he loves. 500 voices who belong to 500 people each with their own unique relationship with jesus. but 500 people who have been called to the same ministry. called to love on and share jesus with lost and broken high school kids. and to simply be their friend in the process. i could not ask for a better community to spend my weekend in. and i could not ask for a better place to do it.

this weekend was filled with laughter, seminars to train us in leadership, an amazing speaker, one of the funniest programs i have ever seen, some incredible worship, the best food ever, the giant swing, a massive game of kick it, a square dance (one of the better nights of my life), late nights in earl's snack bar, more laughter, team meetings, growing friendships, catching up with my old young life leader, a little more laughter and lots and lots of prayer. this was the greatest weekend i can remember having in a long, long time. and man i needed it. thank you jesus for such a sweet & refreshing weekend.

so beautiful

there is chocolate syrup in my ear.

2011-09-08T20:31:00.000-07:00

thats the truth. as well as up my nose, and still in my hair. i took the longest shower i have ever taken & i still feel it. also my car is in the garage with all the windows down so it wont smell tomorrow.

tonight we kicked off the year for hardin valley young life with ice cream olympics.

and it.was.awesome.

ice cream olympics is a big deal in young life...or at least it is here in knoxville. we had it a park on the lake & everyone comes in old clothes knowing its about to get messy! tonight we broke into four teams and did several fun relay games. all involving ice cream. the last game was to build a sundae on a leader. and naturally, i was the leader chosen. but im not complaining...it was SO MUCH FUN! after that game, we had a massive ice cream fight and it was insane. so messy & so cold but so fun. luckily we had the lake so we all jumped in afterwards to rinse off. and this was my first ice cream olympics as a leader which made it even better! i had a few of my new freshman girls come and i drove a couple and it made my heart so happy. i wondered how long it would take for me to meet girls and bring some of them to yl. i am so pleased that i got to bring some on the first night! we had such a great turn out and seriously had the BEST time.

i have such great love for my team & am so thankful for them. what a treat to do do ministry with some of my greatest friends!

my mom was helping me find some old clothes & i was trying to explain to her why i needed them. i tried & tried to tell her how messy it was but words dont do it justice.....ill let the pictures talk.

that would be me.

my oh so kind high school friends building a sundae on me.

they did NOT take it easy on me

i had no idea what i looked like at this point

the things we do for our high school friends.

what im loving (17).

2011-09-07T12:29:00.000-07:00

im loving that is is september & today it feels WONDERFUL outside! finally starting to feel like fall!!!

im loving that my small group is FINALLY back together after what has seemed like forever! we had a progressive dinner last night & it was so fun. i have missed them so much & am so glad to have another year ahead of us!

im loving that the pumpkin spiced latte is back! thank you jesus! i am a happy girl.

im loving jesus calling. i know ive said it a few times already. but i love it more everyday. every morning it is just what i need to hear.

im loving the fun time we had celebrating sweet little austins 9th birthday over the weekend. i cant believe he is 9. life would be SO boring without him.

im loving some of my new clothes from the loft. you better believe i am taking advantage of that employee discount :)

can you tell i like stripes?

im loving that young life at hardin valley starts back tomorrow night!! we are having ice cream olympics & i am SO EXCITED!

for you i sing, i dance.

2011-09-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

im so happy its the weekend! im looking forward to spending the weekend on the lake. hanging out with family & friends. cookout & fireworks. celebrating austins birthday. and soaking up the last bit of summer weather.

its been a good day & a great way to end the week. i dont have too much to say...but here are some random thoughts...

+ the song divine romance by phil wickham has been on repeat for the past few days. it is such a good song & the words are beautiful.

for You i sing i dance, rejoice in this divine romance

+ this morning i got to finally sleep in. like really sleep in. until 11. what a treat. then i went to the mall for the afternoon & then worked this evening. a pretty good day.

+ yl team dinner last night was real good. i am so grateful for the ryan & carmen and that they are opening their home to us every week and feed us dinner every thursday before yl. treat. last night before we ate carmen read to us from acts where it talks about coming & eating together & praising god together. and thats what we get to do and i love that. we eat together and then we sit in a circle and just rejoice together and share life. and i really love that a lot.

+ i went to bath & body works today. shouldnt have. but i did. i bought several things....too many things. actually.

yum.

also yum.

yes i bought all five of these. and i have a cute owl hand sanitizer holder.

i got this car freshener except mine is leopard & it is SO cute. the scent is leaves.

aaaand i also bought the apple crumble refills for it.

+ jesus calling is seriously so good. a few of my favorite things from it so far....

"there could never be another companion as devoted as I am."

"your continual assertion of trusting Me will strengthen our relationship and keep you close to Me."

"the more extreme your circumstances, the more likely you are to see My power & glory at work in the situation."

"thankfulness is a royal road to draw near to Me." (my favorite)

"though I have all the power in the heavens and earth, I am infinitely tender with you."

"cling to Hope & My rays of light will reach you through the darkness."

+ this time next week i will be at sharptop cove. i literally cannot wait.

+ i asked again at starbucks today how much longer till the pumpkin spiced latte is back. tuesday. i am happy.

+ last night i was bored and playing on the computer and made these. they arent too great but i still like them & kinda want to frame one.

thats all. im tired. goodnight & happy weekend!

what im loving (16).

2011-08-31T20:43:00.000-07:00

im loving that tomorrow is september. i dont care what the calendar says, fall starts tomorrow! i am so ready for the pumpkin spiced latte to make its return.

im loving that yesterday i laid on the dock in my favorite chair completely alone for over 4 hours. heavenly. & i finished the help. oh my goodness it was SO good. now i have got to see the movie!

im loving the community group i started tonight. i still have my small group from last year & am SO excited to get that started again. but i also joined a community group from the church i have been going to. i love this church. i never knew community until this past year with quest. and then i found even more community in fellowship church. i am so thankful to have found a church where i am fed. and where i feel loved and poured into. i love their college ministry on monday nights called crossroads. its a lot like a church service. but for college. incredible worship music & the teaching pastor is so good. i am really excited to be involved. i love community.

im loving my new school supplies. i dont love school. but i do love school supplies. especially cute stuff like this...

im loving ellie holcomb's new cd called magnolia. it is seriously incredible. been on repeat for days.

im loving that at the wedding we went to saturday for a girl i grew up with austin literally stole the dancefloor. like in the middle and everyone chanting "go austin. go austin." it was the funniest & greatest thing i have ever seen.

im loving that were planning another lake day/cookout/fireworks for labor day. were celebrating on sunday though. plus its austins birthday so we are celebrating that too!

im loving that tomorrow we have younglife team meeting & dinner. cant wait.

im loving that next weekend all younglife leaders of tennessee are going to sharptop cove for leadership weekend. i am SO excited! sharptop is one of my very favorite places in the world and i have missed that place dearly. its going to be an incredible weekend!

what im loving (15).

2011-08-24T13:21:00.000-07:00

im loving the weather we had yesterday....it was beautiful & felt like FALL!

im loving jesus calling. im only two days in but i am really enjoying it so far!

im loving the super cute new journal i bought yesterday! im kind of obsessed with journals. im not even halfway through my current one..and i could never start a new one without finishing my old one. i may or may not have a small stash of journals waiting on me to use them.

but really, how could i pass this up?

and it has cute pages like this all through it!

im loving these yummy coffees i also bought yesterday. i had the caramel apple coffee this morning and ohmygosh YUM! we have a really cute gift/chocolate shop called bradleys and i am obsessed. i did a little shopping there yesterday and then found out their fall open house is friday. you better believe i will be going back friday morning. i also got a chocolate covered s'more there. oh my lord yum.

im loving the adorable candle holder i also bought at bradleys. i also went to yankee candle and got spiced cider & spiced pumpkin candles to put in it. i am very ready for fall...obviously.

im loving...more like obsessed with...my new owl ring. also bought at bradleys. i LOVE owls.

how stinking cute is this??

im loving the movie bridesmaids. just saw it for the third time on saturday. i know its a little raunchy. but oh my lord. THE funniest movie i have ever seen. all three times i have cried from laughing so hard basically through the whole entire movie.

i cant decide if i like mondays.

2011-08-22T15:41:00.000-07:00

indecisive.
ive never really been a huge fan of mondays. but now i kinda think i like them. but im not 100% yet. i only have class on tuesday/thursday this semester so i wont have school on monday which is awesome. i do work on mondays. but only at 10 at the earliest so i still can sleep in. and i love my job so far. some may or may not be taking bets on how long i will stay there. you know...because i only worked at the cupcakery for 1 month. oops. but after work on mondays i dont have anything for the afternoon so once school starts (i dont start till next tuesday) i can do homework or whatever for the day. and then crossroads is on monday nights & i love crossroads so thats 1 point for mondays.

lagging.

im seriously lagging on blogging. life isnt boring, its actually been a great couple of weeks. but nothing too exciting to blog about. also, no pictures. which i really only want to blog if i have pictures.

small group.
i miss it. a whole lot. everyone is moved back in here in knoxville and we are all itching to start meeting again. we just have to work out a night that works for everyone which is a little tricky! we are in the process of planning a progressive dinner for our first time back together! that will be so fun! and i am planning a dinner party for us for the fall once it has cooled off. i want to cook dinner for everyone and let us all eat down on the dock. i have so many party ideas & recipes from pinterest so this will be a perfect time to use them.

7:45 am & 200 donuts.

last friday morning i found myself in front of hardin valley at 7:45 with my teammate daniel. in our hands was 200 donut holes.

what??

two words: freshman orientation.

two more words: contact work.

daniel and i are going to be the freshman leaders for hva young life and i am so excited for this new year with so many new freshman faces. freshman orientation was the perfect opportunity to meet some new kids. there are about 500 freshman at hva so if that wasnt contact work, i dont know what is. after meeting several girls i am so so much more excited for the fall & club starting. taking girls to camp. going to hva football games. hanging out with girls. the best part is that we move up with them all through high school. so the girls i meet this year i will get to walk through their four years of high school with them.

younglife team.

i miss my team so dang much. we had our first team meeting this past thursday & i was so excited but of course i got sick..boo. but..we are having a team dinner & meeting at my house this thursday so i cannot wait! my mom & i are cooking for everyone so that will be so fun! speaking of my team: i think i have mentioned this before...but have you heard of ryan long? if you havent, go listen to his music asap. he plays a lot for young life camps but also travels around doing small concerts. anyways, we are so blessed to have ryan on our yl team at hardin valley.he has such a big heart & beautiful music. its such a treat to have him with us every week & says so much about him that he is willing to give his time each week to love on high schoolers.

jesus calling.

just got this devotional today & cannot wait to start it tomorrow morning.

in the kitchen.

in the past few weeks i have baked & cooked a ridiculous amount. my favorite new recipes:

lemon cookies

cheesecake chocolate chip cookie bars

strawberry lemonade brownies

campfire cookies

taco stuffed shells

its time for a change.

i want a new blog look. i know i have changed it around but its still not what i want because i suck at fixing it. i need someone to design it for me...any takers? :)

what im loving (14).

2011-08-10T20:49:00.000-07:00

im loving the fun giveaway i am having! thursday is the last day to enter!! get on that because, trust me, you want to win.

im loving that i just got a job at ann taylor loft!!! ahhh my favorite store!

im loving that sunday afternoon i took a roadtrip to my beloved nashville with courtney to pick up and finally bring home our sweet friends that have been on summer staff at a young life camp for a whole month. that is too long to not see them! i was so glad to see everyone. especially two of my yl teammates, daniel & andrea!

im loving the fun time i had with some 7th grade girls at the pool last week!

sweet little katelyn loves to hang out with the "big girls"

im loving reading the help. oh my goodness. one of the best books ive read. ive got to hurry up & finish so i can see the movie!!

im loving the sweet kiddos ive been babysitting. oh i love them.

im loving the thought of pumpkin spiced lattes in the near future. definitely my favorite part of fall.

im loving that all my friends from out of town are moving back to knoxville this week because school is starting soon. not excited about school. just my favorite people moving back here.

what im loving (13).

2011-08-03T11:16:00.000-07:00

im loving that i got to finally see some of my small group last night! unfortunately, i saw them because one of the girl's dad died. it was so so sad. and i hated that our reason for seeing each other was a funeral. but it was still a treat to see them. and of course we all went to eat mexican afterwards!

a few of us at dinner!

im loving that after dinner with small group girls i got to go spend time with one of my very favorite families from the middle school ministry. i have gotten to know them so well over the past year and they have been so good to me and loved me so well. i had the BEST time with them last night. we had an intense ping pong tournament and then played some madgab & catchphrase...both of which are hilarious. especially with them.

brian and the boys took madgab so seriously

sweet kristy & jordan

im loving that it is august. i really am not ready for summer to end because who doesnt love the rest & relaxation of summer. but i am looking forward to getting back into a routine. and if you really knew me you would i know how much i LOVE fall!! i am so looking forward to decorating for fall, fall candles, scarves & boots. ahh i love wearing boots.

im loving the ideas my mom & i have for redecorating my room. staying at home another year means my rooms gets a makeover. weeeeeee. there is talk of some teal, grey, & ruffles. yes, please. all of my ideas are thanks to pinterest.

im loving the version of "how he loves" by john mark mcmillian. he wrote the song and there is such a sweet story behind it. watch the youtube video. its already one of my very favorite songs and he just has a great voice for that song.

im loving that the middle school ministry is having lake day at my house tonight. so fun!

im loving the new church i have been going to for the past few months. i think i have found the right church for me. it is really geared toward younger people than my families church and thats what i like the most. i love love love the worship music & the pastor. i feel so at home there & that is a really exciting thing to me.

im loving my new planner i made! i just bought a cheap plain one at target because all of the ones i wanted are so dang expensive. so i just came home & spruced it up a little! love it!

restoration.

2011-08-01T17:35:00.000-07:00

my heart lately has been that the lord will restore me. i just feel like i have been caught up in life and let myself drift away from jesus. and thats the exact opposite of where i need to be. jesus taught me about restoration at middle school camp. i love that even though i was there as a leader, he spoke to me and taught me new things.

1. grace gets us started, restoration keeps us going

2. if we will let him, christ will perfect & restore us

and the one thing he said that struck my heart the most & the clearest...

3. god restores.

such a simple truth.

its ok to fail. to fall away from christ even.but when it gets to that point our hearts have to be restored. even just in the past week i felt the lord restoring my heart and my desire to know him more. my quiet times lately have been so full of truth and i love that. sometimes i feel like i dont "hear" the lord like some people do. but i have lately. i have a lot. its amazing to me that the god whose voice is big enough to split trees (psalm 29) is the same god whose voice is gentle enough to whisper to my sometimes broken heart. i heard him clearly this week when he spoke to me "morgan, i love you - maybe most of all- when you try & fail again" but its my job to seek him for restoration. and thats what i did. here are some things the lord has showed me...

+ he is passionately and relentlessly pursuing a relationship with me

+ he is not looking for perfection. he simply desires to hear us say "here i am, you can have it all"

+ not knowing what god will say is what makes today a holy mystery

+ we are called to spend time with the lord offering ourselves in joyful abandon

+ the god that loves me so much will never keep me waiting in the dark for long

+ prayer is being loved at a deep, sweet level

+ his mercy is on those who fear him

+ such a love exists in which our father desires to spend intimate time with us

+ when we call on god he will come. and even if he doesnt bring us the answer we want, he will bring us himself.

love that. so much.

+ christ calls us by name. and we are his.

thank you jesus. for teaching me. and restoring me. my heart is full.

what im loving (12).

2011-07-27T21:19:00.000-07:00

oh my goodness it has been so long since i have done a what im loving wednesday post! but there is a lot im loving so this is perfect...even though i just did a post a couple days ago about some things im loving lately. there is just a lot to love these days.

im loving that one my sweetest dearest friends, abby, got engaged on monday night! and the best part was that i got to set up for it/hide in the bushes/ and take pictures of it!! and by take pictures i mean try to steady the camera while crying my eyes out. jennifer & i were the only two that knew and it was such a hard secret to keep...but i did! it was so precious & so sweet to get to see it happen. ive walked beside abby though their relationship & sat in our favorite booth at our favorite mexican restaurant on more than one occasion to talk about their relationship. abby has been such a picture to me of what it looks like to love and desire a godly man & to truly wait and trust the lords timing and let him have complete control of a relationship. cant wait for their WEDDING!!

im still hiding in the bushes at this point...

yay!!!!!!

so freakin precious

still didnt know i was there :)

and then i came out & took some more pictures of the newly engaged couple!!!

love this!

wahoo!! we kept the secret!

im loving my new lilly pulitzer iphone case. i returned my j.crew one because it didnt fit right which was a huge bummer because it was so dang cute. but so is the one i bought

im loving pinterest!!! oh my lord it is the greatest thing ever. i have made so many things that i saw on pinterest. a couple weeks ago i made the yummiest pina colada cupcakes with lime cream cheese frosting. yummmm. and today i made DELISH strawberry lemonade cupcakes!

i saw the cutest shelf on pinterest a few weeks ago & decided to try to make my own. my dad & i worked on it together & finally hung it tonight and i LOVE how it turned out. its right when you walk in my bedroom door & i can hang my keys on it and use the shelf for stuff i need to take out with me.

its really more green but the picture has messed up the color.

and then there was this craft....the one that i thought would be a quick little thing and i could make several. five hours later i only have one. but i still love it. its just a styrofoam ball and i used crepe paper streamers and made little rossettes and hot glued them all over. now im looking for a cute bowl to put them in.

and my favorite so far...

an earring holder! i found an old frame, took the back off, painted the frame & used a staple gun to put some burlap on the back. it just rests up against my mirror on my dresser & is perfect for my earrings!

im loving that tomorrow is the last day of the summer daycare program i have been working. i love kids & i love having this job every summer...but dear lord my class this year is awful and i just ready for it to be done.

im loving that i have plans to FINALLY meet lindsey at passion this year!! ahh cant wait!

im loving the song "before the throne" by shane&shane. so good.

a few things im loving lately.

2011-07-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

ive been doing some shopping lately, duh. and some of the things ive bought im just really loving.

yesterday i went to j.crew and picked up this adorable case for my new iphone.

i got a white iphone 4 a couple days ago and i am obsessed. so many apps. ahhhhh.

and naturally, i found a few other things while i was in jcrew.

i got the cutest headband to match a shirt i got there last week & i got this beautiful ring

and it matches a bracelet i always wear perfectly

and because im also now obsessed with the instagram app...

also while i was out yesterday i picked up some new essie nail polish. i l.o.v.e. the color!

its called sand tropez.

i also got a few super cute shirts at j.crew last week that im really loving

and this cute dress from american eagle. i never really go in that store but i was looking for something random and found this!

and what im especially loving is my diana warner jewelry. if you havent ever seen or heard of diana warner jewelry go check it out now. she is originally from here in knoxville but now has a studio & shop in new york city. i love love love her jewelry. i just got some new earrings from her last night & they are great!

i have a couple necklaces from her too that i wear everyday. im not really much of a costume jewelry person, i just have a few simple things i wear every day. i also love this bracelet of hers that i got a couple months ago & have worn it everyday since.

this goes with everything. go check out her website!!

and go visit j.crew because last week & still yesterday all sale stuff is an extra 40% off. yes, please!

oh, how he loves us.

2011-07-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

i saw the love of christ in the most beautiful way a couple weeks ago at middle school camp. i got to see him grab ahold of the hearts of broken and lost students. i got to see some encounter jesus for the first time and begin the journey of a relationship with him. i got to see some who have known jesus for a long part of their lives but saw him in a whole new way with a whole new respect and love for him. i got to see the lord move in and work through those kids. and leaders. and me. and i loved every second of it.

this was my third year going as a leader and this was the most special for me. because ive been with these students all year and ive gotten the privilege to walk through this year with them. especially the 8th grade girls ive had in discipleship. and this was their last year of camp and its always a special time for the 8th graders and it was so special to be part of it.

we took 250 middle schoolers to camp. shew, thats a lot of kids. i had 10 girls in my cabin and i was a leader by myself this year. its a hard week. physically and emotionally. its draining. i barely got any sleep because my mattress was maybe two inches thick. i barely ate anything because the food is sick nasty. i came back scraped and bruised because i went head first into the mud pit. but every sleepless night, skipped meal & bruise was so so worth it. so worth it. then end was a little bittersweet because i knew my year in the middle school ministry was up. and ive loved spending so much time with those girls. but i am so excited for them to start high school & see where the lord takes them. and i am so excited for the new year of young life at hardin valley & see where the lord takes me.

my sweet cabin!

yay erin is engaged!!!!!

oh you know just going in the mud pit

and there i go....literally face first

sick

the 8th graders have a sweet time of prayer the last night and we have a big circle of torches to light the field.

all the leaders!

SUCH a good week.

catching up on july.

2011-07-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

weeeeeee its friday! i love the weekends. and today im going to copy lindsey and make a little list catching up on life.

one. dunkin donuts is still standing because i single handedly keep our location in business. two words: iced coffee. dear lord, who has been hiding this gem from me for so long. now that ive discovered i cannot stop. literally drinking one as i type this. medium french vanilla iced coffee, please.

two. four bands/singers have kept me going these past several days. i have a playlist of just them and it has been on repeat.

needtobreathe.

mumford & sons.

thad cockrell.

patty griffin.

three. last week i got to take my middle school friends to camp. i went back for my third year as a leader and it was so so good. i came home with lots and lots of bruises from things like running into bunk beds in the middle of the night & going head first into the mudpit. but oh man, the bruises, lack of sleep, and not eating for 5 days was so worth it. because the lord was present and he worked so deeply in those students. but more on that coming soon. along with pictures, naturally.

four. the other night i made pina colada cupcakes with lime cream cheese frosting. holy freaking yum.

five. my friend derek took my to the taylor swift concert a couple weeks ago. i have to be honest & say im not really a huge taylor swift fan...the main reason i went is because needtobreathe was opening and they are my very favorite band. also i heard that taylor was horrible live. i didnt have trouble believing that. but....she proved all the doubters wrong. oh my goodness...she was so good live. like really good. she was pretty cheesy & really loved all the attention, but she sounded great & it was like a broadway show. so entertaining. and then there was needtobreathe. oh my lord. they were SO GOOD. they were the best performance ive ever seen. ever.

six. we had our usual big shabang for the fourth of july. it was so so fun. it began the night before when several guys come over to camp out on the dock and roast the pig. i should add that austin named the pig woody. im not sure how i feel about that. but it was such a fun day on the lake, a cookout with tons of friends and then the big firework show. my dad is like a child on christmas morning when it comes to fireworks. we make a cd to go along with the fireworks & my dad usually picks the music but his music is a weee bit outdated. so chose half of the songs & his friend chose the other half. much better. and of course, firework by katy perry was in the mix. duh. i think someone counted over 600 people for fireworks. insane. but so fun. and this year was extra fun for me because i got to have my new college/young life friends & my high school friends all here together. it was just a really great night.

i didnt take any pictures on the lake because i didnt want my camera down on the dock. but i did get some after dinner & fireworks.

this was right at the road. we are so classy.

the boys that light the fireworks think they're hott stuff.

speaking of hott stuff....austin thinks HE is hott stuff because he gets to sit down where they shoot them with my dad. dont worry, safety first.

its raining, mumford & sons is playing on my computer, i have an iced coffee & im snuggled in my bed. im thinking a nap......

take me back to the beach.

2011-07-12T20:19:00.000-07:00

a few weeks ago my family & my friend taylor went to the beach. as usual, it was back to orange beach, al. our favorite place to go. it was such a fun trip full of laughs, good food, and a serious sunburn. i want to go back...i just cant get enough of the beach. especially when i have two karen kingsbury books to read with the sound of waves crashing in the back. yes, please.

aaaaaand the week in pictures...

disregard the small pirate in the picture. like what the heck is that face?

like our new sweatshirts?

such a great week. now get me back to the beach. please?

attracting airport security.

2011-06-29T11:09:00.000-07:00

my best friend taylor left us for nine days to go to guatemala. nine days isnt that long, but were a pack that likes to stay together. so naturally, we all went to the airport to pick her up. her plane landed at 11:30 that night but thats fine because we seem to have more fun late at night because we are all tired and everything is even funnier. we got to the airport a few minutes early and then taylor called to tell me they were stuck in atlanta because there was a coyote on the runway so they would be a little late. dumb coyote. but thats ok because we managed to have a great time in the airpot. i turned around to find ben climbing a statute. dear lord. my friends are five years old. a couple of the people who work on the runways with the neon vests came running through so we told ben they were security guards coming for him. he tried to jump off and fell. of course. andrew & brandon were playing on their phones, probably tweeting about how childish we are. alex & ben were climbing on each others shoulders, giving andrew & brandon something to tweet about. and andrea & i were taking pictures, naturally. when her landing time got a little closer we headed on up to the gates. we still had a little while to wait...so to no ones surprise andrew & ben began to play in the wheelchairs lined up against the wall. children, i tell you. we put bets on who taylor would hug first, because shes been gone for so long you know. really, were a tight pack. wish i wouldve put some money on it because she hugged me first. im just still in shock that we made it out of the airport without a run in with security.

this really happened

security is coming

meet my five year old friends: ben, andrew, & ringing in at 6'2"...kronk

some step-sib love

some teammate love

this isnt looking good

ben takes a tumble

reunited!

i have such great love for my friends

true love right there

in related news...or unrelated, really.

+ i just joined pinterest. im not sure yet if it was the greatest decision or the biggest mistake ive ever made. so many ideas.

+ brandon & i went to see bridesmaids monday night. mother goose that was the FUNNIEST movie i have ever ever seen. i was crying i was laughing the whole time. i just keep replaying the whole thing in my head.

+ im going to the needtobreathe & taylor swift concert on friday. cant freakin wait.

i'm just a few steps behind.

2011-06-26T11:17:00.000-07:00

well shoot. i did it again. i used to be so on top of blogging....and then..well i dont really have an excuse i just started falling a few steps behind. kinda like my scrapbooks. i used to scrapbook everything. and then i opened it the other day and the last thing i scrapbooked was toga night my senior year. which was september of 2009. oopsies. oh well i'll catch up one day when im real bored.

well its almost july & i still havent finished recapping may. which means now i have to recap the rest of may & july. baby steps.

incase you're wondering, the new addition to my face (my nose ring) is healing up quite nicely. or at least it was until this past week at the beach it got infected. but i'll spare you the details. but no worries i cleaned it real good and its just fine now. lookin good as ever. what's not lookin so good is my sunburn from the beach. i just got back yesterday. it was a great time. except for the first day when my chest got unfortunately fried. now its looking very unattractive as it is peeling and rather discolored. but oh well, i'll just call it a memory.

so, back to may .let's see......

the rest of may held lots of hanging out with friends, time on the lake, a trip to dollywood, and lots of frozen yogurt, of course.

oh how romantic

mama andrea makin the kids some snacks

oh courtney just made UT cheerleading so she was giving us some pointers...

when we go to dollywood we like to pretend we're at disney world. we may or may have also talked with a british accent...strange looks were confirmed

i cant say i blame the people who stare at us

at the very end of may i had the privilege of being a leader on the middle schools mission trip to denver. it was such a great trip. im having a lot harder time leaving these kids than i thought i would. i know without a doubt im doing the right thing, but im just kinda attached to those kids. but its such a blessing that the 8th graders that i love so much and are so close to are leaving the middle school ministry anyways so we all get to leave together and i know im not leaving them behind. anyways...the trip. ah, it was incredible. we flew to denver which was not pleasant for me seeing as how i hate flying..but it was worth it. these kids are not your average middle schoolers. the church we partnered with in denver had several projects for us but they had no idea just how much we would get done. those kids literally left them speechless on more than one occasion. one of my favorite things we did there was a sports camp for the local kids. i was one of the leaders in charge of cheerleading camp and it was so fun. we let all the middle school students on our team lead the camps and they did such a great job. i know i was there as a leader but this trip still made an eternal difference in my heart. the lord moved so deeply in our team and it was a beautiful thing to see. i was reminded so many times how intentional our father is. in where we were, who we worked with, and what we were doing. one night we were at the park for our sports camp and kids were beginning to arrive. we heard the most awful sound of cars colliding followed by heartbreaking screams. it was terrible. a woman driving a car ran over a man & woman on a motorcycle. everyone lived, just some broken bones. but what happened was such a sweet picture of the lord makes beautiful things out of dust. it turns out that the woman driving the car was on her way to bring her son to our camp. she had just visited our partnering church for the second time that morning. she'd just moved to the city and knew not single person. we got her contact information and the pastor of the church and one of the men on our team got to take her dinner & pray with her and minister to her. i just thought that was coolest picture of how intentional our father is. and im so glad they were all okay.

this trip was such a blessing and privilege to go on and it was so sweet getting to watch the students i love so deeply serve so hard and humbly and joyfully. and to get to serve along side them.

some of my discipleship girls!

lots of chacos!

so that was may. it was a good month. i finished my first year of college, spent a week at my favorite place in the world: windy gap, got my nosed pierced, went to denver, and spent lots and lots of time with my best friends. it was a real good month.

i got my nose pierced.

2011-06-07T21:58:00.000-07:00

yep, thats correct. i got my nose pierced.

see?

just wanted to get that out in the open.

now onto may recap: 2 of 3.

the week following windy gap work week was spent with all of my work week friends. several had to return home to nashville, memphis & other places soon so we soaked up our time together. one of my favorite nights we had together was when about 20 of us went to see the midnight premiere of pirates. SO much fun. ive never seen any of the pirate movies, but thats ok. we still had the best time. some of our friends that had already moved back home to nashville even surprised us and came in. we went to the theatre downtown so we all met up pretty early for dinner & frozen yogurt. then we realized how much time we still had until we even needed to be at the theatre. one of the guys with us invited us all to his house to hang out so that was the plan. but first neely announced she wanted her cartilage pierced. so me neely brandon & ciarra all headed to the piercing place. on the way there i mentioned i had been wanting to get my nose pierced but was always too chicken. well, i walked out with my nose pierced. let me just say...most painful thing i have ever done. but no worries, it was very sanitary, pickle assured me. yes, the man that pierced my nose was named pickle. we'll call it an experience to remember. i was afraid i would get home & not like it but i LOVE it. after our piercing experience we headed to scotts to meet up with everyone. everyone was shocked when i walked in the door with an addition to my face. we all hung out there for awhile, put on our pirate patches (no, im not kidding) and headed to the theatre. we left the theatre around 2:30 and all the girls went to taylors to spend the night. it was such a fun night!

and now...the piercing process in pictures.
ow it hurts all over again just looking at these

in shock...for real

words coming out of my mouth: "mother goose that hurt"

thoughts running through my head: tears, ow, how does it look, ow, did i really do it, ow

and the rest of the night looked like this:

yes i did put this on my car. and yes, its still there

no effort

love my teammates

dont know this man but he took this movie verrryy seriously.

and you're eyes are not fooling you, neely wore her pj's to the movie. and her monogrammed slippers.

the next morning we got up and me, taylor, brandon, daniel & ciarra all went to pigeon forge for the day. we were planning on going to dollywood but the weather was iffy so instead we went to the outlets, had dinner at the apple barn & then went & rode go-karts. a prime pigeon forge experience. on the way back to knoxville we decided we didnt want the fun to end yet, so we sent out some text messages and decided on a bonfire at my house. lots more friends met us at home and we all just spend the evening down on the dock around a fire. at this point, my parents still didnt know about my nose piercing. so i thought it would be smart to tell them in front of all my friends. sneaky? yes. did it work? yes!! my dad said he "gave me credit for schmoozing him with all my friends" hahahahah. success. so mad i didnt get a picture of everyone at the bonfire. rats.

all those tickets and this is all we got

recap of the recap: another great week. i love my friends. i got my nose pierced.

windy gap work week.

2011-06-05T19:31:00.000-07:00

well its been about a month since i posted last. oops.

so much has happened in the past month and i have spent so much time with sweet friends so i have lots to catch up on with blogging, but that could take awhile. :)

first & foremost: work week.

in early may me & about 25 other knoxville young life leaders packed up & headed to windy gap for work week. windy gap is a beautiful younglife camp in north carolina. i really believe that young life camps are the closest thing to heaven. they are such beautiful camps and you are in a little bubble of community of people who love the same jesus and its such a sweet thing. its a place full of love and laughter. and during work week is was a place filled with hearts that longed to serve the lord. we had the privilege of getting to work on the camp and prepare it for all the lost kids that will come to camp there this summer and hopefully encounter jesus for the first time. we had jobs ranging from cooking meals for everyone to painting to changing lightbulbs to pressure washing to building all new structures. young life camps strive for excellence to give kids even more of an opportunity to encounter christ. i love the mission and how intentional it all is. there are so many tasks completed that will go completely unnoticed by campers such as sanding and repainting each and every handrail in the camp & shoveling all of the sand out of the waterfront bay. my work group had tedious jobs inside of the cabin: one in particular was opening all of the heating and air systems and taking a rag and simply wiping around the two knobs. such a simple and seemingly pointless job. but its such a picture of how intentional it all is and i love that. not only did we do a lot of working but we did a lot of praying. every morning before breakfast we had a set time for quiet time. then before we set to work we had a prayer time with our group. and two to three times throughout each day a bell would ring and we would have five minutes of prayer. when that bell rang every voice was quiet and every tool was turned off. a massive camp fell completely silent as we all spread out and prayed over the camp and the campers that would soon set foot on windy gap property. the most special part for me was when i got to pray on the bench where i had my first personal encounter with jesus my freshman year of high school. what a blessing that i got to sit back in that spot and pray for a lost and disinterested high schooler that will maybe for the first time in their life sit on that bench and begin to wonder what jesus is all about.

it was such a special week and we had such an incredible time serving together. our group from knoxville took our free time each night and all met together and shared how we saw the lord that day and then spent some time praying together. it was so neat because we all knew each other but not everyone was great friends so we all came away with such deeper friendships and i love that so much.

all of the knoxville crew!

such a great week!

we'll call this may recap: 1 of 3

and then the beat comes.

2011-05-09T16:36:00.000-07:00

saturday afternoon my friend derek & i hopped in the car and headed to nashville to meet up with jordan for the ben rector & matt wertz concert! what a day. we left at 2 that afternoon and pulled back into my driveway at 4:45 am. wowza. the drive back to knoxville has never been so long in my life. driving home (even though its only 2.5 hours) at 2:30 is hard to do. but....the fun we had that day made it all worth it.

we left knoxville early enough so we would have time to piddle around nashville and have dinner before the concert. on the way derek decided to make a pit stop in crossville because he wanted to show me something. i was a little skeptical as we turned onto a tiny gravel road...however i was about to be completely amazed by (literally) the worlds largest tree house. yep...i played in an 8 story tree house. most incredible thing ive ever seen. i was like a child & it was so much fun. this thing was insane. it was just level after level of mismatched wood all nailed together with random windows & doors. a big lookout on the top level that was above the tree tops (fear of heights + a bit of wind = yikes). in the middle was a church! yes a church. some pews, a podium, a choir loft built into the wood. man i wish i had church in a tree house. it was literally the coolest thing ive ever seen. i will be returning asap.

after we played in the treehouse awhile we made a quick stop at dq & we were back on the road. we got to nashville & met up with jordan! it was so good to hug her neck. we shopped around a little while (hello, urban outfitters!), had a yummy dinner, got some sweet cece's froyo & then headed to the concert. oh man, this was top two concerts i have ever been too! if you really knew me you would know that ben rector is one of my top 3 favorite singers. also in that top three is matt wertz & dave barnes. so this show was great for me. ben brought it and several times we made solid eye contact. then he brought me onstage and asked me to marry him. riiiiiiiiight. the eye contact part though, that was real life. matt wertz came out next & ben rector stayed on stage and played the whole time with him which was great. oh man, those boys can sing. from where i was standing i could see back stage & out of the corner of my eye i saw a man who maid my heart skip a beat. deep in my heart i wanted to believe it was who i thought it was...but it was too good to be true. a short minute later matt wertz said something that

A. made my heart melt B. made me scream C. made me the happiest girl ever or D. all of the above. well the answer is D because matt wertz introduced DAVE BARNES to sing with him. yes, friends. matt wertz, dave barnes & ben rector on the same stage, singing the same song, at the same time. the trifecta. i want to say my life was complete, but what happened next made that statement more accurate. but first, the trifecta...yes, the three favorite men in my life sang a couple songs together and i was about jump up and down. oh wait, i did. okay. i thought maybe i was in heaven because there was, in front of me, a chorus of angels singing. what a night. then it got better. is that possible? it was. did you watch the voice? if you did, then you know who elenowen is. or maybe you knew who they were before the show. i did, ive been a fan for awhile. still dont know who im talking about? their a couple from knoxville, now living in nashville and they sing together. and shoot, they.are.good. well they were on the voice (my new favorite show- maybe because of them) and they are now on blake sheltons team! well jordan went to school with josh (the husband of elenowen) and i had seen on twitter they were at the concert. jordan decides to find them and talk to them and introduced me so needless to say i was on cloud nine. this may not sound like a big deal. yes they are from knoxville and they really arent famous....yet. but, ive loved their music for sometime and i was thrilled to meet them. plus, their on the voice now! all that to say....i saw matt wertz, dave barnes & ben rector perform together and i met elenowen....what a night, what a night!

oh heavens

now ive got to start packing for windy gap! im going to windy gap (a younglife camp) on wednesday for work week - a couple hundred people volunteer to go for several days to work at the camp & get it ready for all the campers that will come through this summer! it will be a real neat time to not only work but pray over all the campers that will fill that camp over the summer. campers that are broken and lost but will get to have the time of their lives and more importantly hear about jesus. i havent been to windy gap since freshman year of high school so i am SO excited to go back!

the sound of sunshine.

2011-05-02T08:51:00.000-07:00

brace yourself for a long post with lots and lots of pictures.

storms: last wednesday we had some crazy storms tear through knoxville. i have literally never experienced anything like that in my life. it was insane and there was lots of damage done. however, it does not even compare to damage done in other areas like alabama. sure it stinks that my windshield is shattered and my car is covered in dents, but im alive so i really have no place to complain. but here are a few pictures of the damage here at my house...

crazy mess at the dock

broken glass doesnt surprise me but its crazy to me that hail can just bust holes through that box!

even with lives lost & damage done i think it was amazing to see gods power through the storm. he makes beautiful things out of dust.

young life cookout: thursday night we had a cookout for hardin valley. so many kids came & we just had the best time! we grilled out, played frisbee, football, cornhole & just hung out. we had beautiful weather & it was just a fun time hanging out to wrap up young life for this semester! cant wait to get started back up in the fall!

i have such great love for my team.

baby birds & cake pops: saturday we uncovered our pool & a little while later my mom saw a little baby bird floating and it couldnt fly out. she got it out & set it in the yard and then told me to come look at it. im not a huge animal person but it was precious and shaking and i was afraid the dog would get it so i got a box & towel and i brought that little fluff inside. it was PRECIOUS. it was shaking and chirping and pitiful. a little while later i took it outside to see what it would do and it just sat in the yard for awhile then a little bit later i tried to pick it back up and it ran/flew away. so i guess it was okay!

i mean how precious is that?

saturday afternoon i had lunch with nathan & harrison which was so fun! im so glad that everyone will be back at home for the whole summer! when i got home from lunch i made some cake pops! we had company over & they were a hit! i used funfetti cake so they were extra delish.

chunk of love: i was helping austin get dressed yesterday and he said "morgan, take a cute picture of me" so of course, i did. he is too cute to handle.

what a ham!

wedding shower: saturday night i went to a wedding shower for michael & mary alex. my family wasnt able to go but abbie was going too so we went together. i had such a good time celebrating them and their love and i am so excited for them. unfortunately, i will be out of town for their wedding and i was so so sad when i realized that. but thats ok because i see them all the time so we can still celebrate. their shower was outside and they had a band and delish mexican food and a bonfire and it was beautiful outside. perfect!

the bride to be!

summer is so close: one final down, two to go. and then i am officially on summer break!! hallelujah!! and in honor of summer around the corner i cant stop listening to the sound of sunshine by michael franti & spearhead. so good.